You don’t have to have studied psychology to have at least an un-huh acquaintance with Freud’s theories of personality development. Oral, Anal, Phallic, Latency and Genital–yada yada yada ya. Starts at birth, ends with adulthood, and all the interesting bits come by the time you’ve begun First Grade.
However, after Freud came Erik Erikson, and he did have something interesting to say about the rest of life. Erikson factored the psychosocial into the development of personality and came up with eight stages that are on our ladder of living. Each stage consists of opposing urges which create a crisis that must be resolved in order for the individual to move on successfully to the next stage. The first six stages cover the years from birth through Young Adulthood, but it’s the Seventh Stage that relates to those of us in midlife.
Erikson saw that period of one’s life, which he call Middle Adulthood, as a time when the two conficting issues to be resolved are, in his words, Generativity versus Stagnation. Here’s what my DevPsych textbook (Theories of Development Psychology, Patricia H. Miller) says about it:
“Generativity refers to “the interest in establishing and guiding the next generation” through child rearing or creative or productive endeavors. Simply bearing children does not, of course, ensure that the parent will develop a sense of generativity. Faith in the future, a belief in the species, and the ability to care about others seem to be prerequisites for development in this stage. Instead of having children, one may work to create a better world for the children of others. Stage 7, then, provides the mechanism for the continuity of society from generation to generation.”
The other side of Generativity, it’s polar opposite, is “stagnation, self-absorption (self-indulgence), boredom, and a lack of psychological growth.”
I see this operating in people I know, in myself even. Creating MidLifeBloggers is a huge part of my urge for Generativity. In fact, I think the urge for Generativity is what draws the dividing line between Stage 7 and Stage 8, the final stage, in which Erikson saw the opposing urges as Integrity versus Despair. Integrity is, briefly,
“acceptance of the limitations of life, a sense of being a part of a larger history that includes previous generations, a sense of owning the wisdom of the ages, and a final integration of all the previous stages. The antithesis of integrity is despair–regret for what one has done or not done with one’s life, fear of approaching death, and disgust with oneself.”
Psychosocial development is culturally relative, which means that the specific ages at which we approach these stages depend to a great extent on one’s time and place. You can’t say that Midlife begins and ends at this age or that. Convenient (and cute) as it is to refer to Midlifers as BabyBoomers, it just ain’t necessarily so. I know too many women who are in their late sixties, early seventies even, who are still very much in Stage Seven. And there are any number of women who participate in MidLifeBloggers who are still in their thirties.
So, what developmental stage are you in? What does that mean to you? And, more important, what are you going to do about it?
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Liz: I’ve read your blog and you definitely are in Generativity! I’d love to talk to you about writing about your adoption journey for us. Can you email me at byjane73(at)gmail.com…
I am definitely in Stage 7, and was starting to slide toward stagnation – especially the boredom part of it. When I looked at the rest of my life, all I could see was a whole lot of nothing – or worse, a whole lot of staying the same – and then, the end. I decided that it was up to me to create the life I wanted, and that there was no such thing as “too old” to keep reinventing myself. I’m working towards making a career change, and have started the process of adopting a child, and am blogging about the whole thing – so now I would say I’m in the Generativity part of Stage 7!
If that’s the case… I’m screwed.
😉
ah, isn’t the wisdom of maturity accepting the inconsistency of life????
Contradictory… absolutely! That’s one of the things that drives me nuts about midlife. I swear my thinking is more inconsistent now than in my younger years.
karen: I would say that your career move, etc. puts you smack in the middle of stage 7. Stage 8 is down the line; it’s the getting ready to go stage….
The term “baby boomers” really just refers to the generation of those of us ages 44-64 who were born in the mega-family growth period after World War II. It’s what they call us, but as the voices here point out, it doesn’t define us.
For me, at 57 years of age with an almost 33 year old son, “midlife” is what I answer to now. As for the Erikson stages, which I really relate to, I’m moving from Stage 7 into Stage 8 where I hope I can hang out for many years to come as a life coach for people like me and a blogger.
I love how blogging is giving me the freedom (that I’ve probably denied myself over the years) to say what I mean and mean what I say. It’s what my grandmother used to call one of the privileges of old age. Personally I’d call it a privilege of Stages 7+.
susan m: in some ways, you’re putting forth contradictory (albeit valid!) philosophies here. The ‘been there done that’ as you describe it isn’t stagnant and the comfort of it relates, I think, to the fact that it mirrors a zen approach. Opposing that is your urge for growth that is a function of motion (rather than growth in and of itself). I suspect that feeling pressed for time is relates to the stage you’re in in your mourning for your parents and friends. The intensity of your need for forward motion sounds to me like it’s fueled to some extent by the depth of your sorrow. I certainly relate having “been there, done that.”
Wow, the negative side of each of those stages describes my mother to a tee. Which is why I’m trying so hard to follow in my mother-in-law Theda’s footsteps instead. She was quite the character, but she certainly left with nothing to regret!
Generativity vs. stagnation, the overriding topic on my mind these days. I crave new ideas and new experiences — but I have a long list of things that bore me. I’m much more “live and let live” — but completely intolerant of people who waste my time. I feel pressed for time. I lost two parents and three friends in the last year, and I now know just how precious time is. I want to make the most of every single second. I want those seconds to be filled with forward motion and growth. But can you achieve growth without friction? Without some degree of wasted effort, trial and error?
In middle age I’ve truly come to understand the cultural richness and depth of the phrase, “Been there, done that.” Recession, inflation, gas prices, war, environmental crisis — it’s the 1970s all over again. I’ve learned that most things really are cyclical, and that fact is both comforting and stultifying. I can’t get worked up over stuff. Yet that sounds awfully stagnant, doesn’t it?
Interesting that Erikson defines generativity in terms of caring for others, while self-absorption is “the polar opposite” of growth. Don’t most women spend their entire lives caring about others? Maybe for him it represented psychological growth — but after years of caregiving and working for the greater good, I’m looking forward to some healthy introspection and more than a little self-indulgence.
Thanks for the great review of Erikson’s life stages. At 53, I’m feeling pulled toward Generativity, especially since my only child graduated college and is leaving his home state for a new job, new life. For many mothers at this stage, I think there’s a little bit of grieving involved — we’ll miss the nurturing phase of parenting — but also a sense of excitement about the new freedom we’ve earned. (Sometimes it feels a bit like adolescence all over again.) I’m very glad I carved out a part-time career for myself in the early years of motherhood — but I still have to decide where to go next with it.
I spent many years working in youth development and bettering the world (I hope) for other people’s children. But stagnation was just around the corner . . .
Now I’m a mom “of a certain age”, and while motherhood has certainly satisfied some of the urge for Generativity, the last couple of years have found me searching for other kinds of fulfillment.
Blogging has filled some of that need, and I’m about to put my toe back in the career waters with a new job this fall.
I’ve just discovered your site and I’m really looking forward to spending time here! Thanks for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post.
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