Comments on: Bodysnarking nastiness http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/ Making The Most of MidLife--Together Fri, 17 Dec 2010 21:56:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 By: Ellen Besso http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-285 Ellen Besso Mon, 28 Jul 2008 02:55:06 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-285 Hi Susan: Thanks for your post. This 'wanting to be part of the tribe' idea of yours makes a lot of sense. So mags like Glamour are cashing in on that huh?...the self-image issues, etc. It's pretty scary when we identify ourselves only by outward appearance isn't it? That's so true about midlife being a sensitivity training program! I love it. Our ego kind of gets hit over & over again, by the physical stuff & the out-of-control feelings. (Eckhart Tolle would love it). Ellen Besso www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze Hi Susan: Thanks for your post. This ‘wanting to be part of the tribe’ idea of yours makes a lot of sense. So mags like Glamour are cashing in on that huh?…the self-image issues, etc.
It’s pretty scary when we identify ourselves only by outward appearance isn’t it?
That’s so true about midlife being a sensitivity training program! I love it. Our ego kind of gets hit over & over again, by the physical stuff & the out-of-control feelings. (Eckhart Tolle would love it).

Ellen Besso
http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

]]> By: susan m http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-281 susan m Sat, 26 Jul 2008 07:14:44 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-281 I think snarkiness represents "wanting to be part of the tribe".... the same urge we had in junior high, when we did everything we could to fit in. It's a way of saying, "I'm hip but not fringe. I know what's cool and what's not. My judgment is solid. I know not to wear those clothes, and just to prove it I'll make fun of those who do." It's even a strange type of leadership behavior.... people trying to establish themselves as trendsetters and influence peddlers, the next Perez or Gawker or Go Fug Yourself. After all, <a href="http://online.wsj.com/public/article_print/SB121089779322097255.html" rel="nofollow">it worked for them.</a> Eventually most people realize that gossips/snarkers don't make good friends. And that karma has a way of coming back around... especially when one's butt starts to sag and the belly begins to pooch. Midlife -- the best sensitivity training program anywhere! I think snarkiness represents “wanting to be part of the tribe”…. the same urge we had in junior high, when we did everything we could to fit in. It’s a way of saying, “I’m hip but not fringe. I know what’s cool and what’s not. My judgment is solid. I know not to wear those clothes, and just to prove it I’ll make fun of those who do.”

It’s even a strange type of leadership behavior…. people trying to establish themselves as trendsetters and influence peddlers, the next Perez or Gawker or Go Fug Yourself. After all, it worked for them.

Eventually most people realize that gossips/snarkers don’t make good friends. And that karma has a way of coming back around… especially when one’s butt starts to sag and the belly begins to pooch. Midlife — the best sensitivity training program anywhere!

]]> By: Ellen Besso http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-280 Ellen Besso Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:45:48 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-280 Hi Margaret: Yes, use it, it will get people's attention, won't it! I'm so disappointed that mags like Glamour would propagate this idea with their 'don'tspotting'. There's a new ad out now (I usually watch w/o the sound), but it seems to be similar to the Cadbury Thins one - 2 women trying to outdo each other over the best appliances!!! if you can imagine! I sure hope high-schools deal with this skinny & perfect image stuff in courses. I'm sure some do. Warm regards Ellen Besso www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze Hi Margaret: Yes, use it, it will get people’s attention, won’t it! I’m so disappointed that mags like Glamour would propagate this idea with their ‘don’tspotting’.

There’s a new ad out now (I usually watch w/o the sound), but it seems to be similar to the Cadbury Thins one – 2 women trying to outdo each other over the best appliances!!! if you can imagine!

I sure hope high-schools deal with this skinny & perfect image stuff in courses. I’m sure some do.

Warm regards
Ellen Besso
http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

]]> By: Ellen Besso http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-279 Ellen Besso Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:41:30 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-279 Hi Denise: I think men are behind it...in a way...Women pride themselves on being able to manage so many things better than men for example multi-tasking - (I was just writing bout this yesterday)- & therefore put themselves in a position of trying to attain perfection, one-up-man-ship, etc. etc. Does this make sense, or am I going too far??? I too fear for the younger ones. (my daughter is 27, a little too old to buy all that...& of course a feminist!). Warm regards Ellen Besso www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze Hi Denise: I think men are behind it…in a way…Women pride themselves on being able to manage so many things better than men for example multi-tasking – (I was just writing bout this yesterday)- & therefore put themselves in a position of trying to attain perfection, one-up-man-ship, etc. etc. Does this make sense, or am I going too far???

I too fear for the younger ones. (my daughter is 27, a little too old to buy all that…& of course a feminist!).

Warm regards
Ellen Besso
http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

]]> By: Ellen Besso http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-278 Ellen Besso Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:37:14 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-278 Hi Ann: I hear you! I think things were bad enough in 'the old days' before the media explosion. Now we're inundated constantly with the ways we should look (& act). Younger people may buy into this hook, line & sinker! I like to think we're kinder to each other as we age...but I'm not sure either. Warm regards Ellen Besso www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze Hi Ann: I hear you! I think things were bad enough in ‘the old days’ before the media explosion. Now we’re inundated constantly with the ways we should look (& act). Younger people may buy into this hook, line & sinker! I like to think we’re kinder to each other as we age…but I’m not sure either.

Warm regards
Ellen Besso
http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

]]> By: Margaret http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-258 Margaret Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:46:43 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-258 I've never heard the term "bodysnarking" either although I can't wait to slip it into everyday conversation the first chance I get! Since such behavior has gone on since the dawn of gossip, I don't see how it could go away anytime soon. Not that we shouldn't smack those who are all too eager to support and exarcerbate THE underlying cause of anorexia and other body-image-related issues. I’ve never heard the term “bodysnarking” either although I can’t wait to slip it into everyday conversation the first chance I get!

Since such behavior has gone on since the dawn of gossip, I don’t see how it could go away anytime soon. Not that we shouldn’t smack those who are all too eager to support and exarcerbate THE underlying cause of anorexia and other body-image-related issues.

]]> By: Denise http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-257 Denise Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:26:31 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-257 In my most paranoid moments, I suspect men are behind this type of thing, fearing the power of women united. I fear for my daughters and nieces who are growing up in this culture and I try to promote kindness, to themselves and others. As for me, I ignore it as it applies to me. I do the best I can to take care of myself and rejoice in how much my husband loves me just the way I am. In my most paranoid moments, I suspect men are behind this type of thing, fearing the power of women united.
I fear for my daughters and nieces who are growing up in this culture and I try to promote kindness, to themselves and others.
As for me, I ignore it as it applies to me. I do the best I can to take care of myself and rejoice in how much my husband loves me just the way I am.

]]> By: Ann at One Bag Nation http://midlifebloggers.com/2008/07/21/bodysnarking-nastiness/comment-page-1/#comment-255 Ann at One Bag Nation Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:22:18 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=58#comment-255 As someone with lifelong body image and eating issues, I'm super-sensitive to this stuff. It's amazing how quickly women will turn on each other in this department, and I'm not sure it gets better as we get older! As someone with lifelong body image and eating issues, I’m super-sensitive to this stuff. It’s amazing how quickly women will turn on each other in this department, and I’m not sure it gets better as we get older!

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