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By Ellen of A Girl’s Garden of Menopause

Dear Inexorable Passage of Time,

We had a deal. I would be giving up wide-eyed naiveté, an unfurrowed brow, and my original jawline. In exchange, I would be compensated by encyclopedic wisdom and unflappable serenity.

I can’t find my copy of the contract but I’m damn sure those were the terms.

Sure, I understood that I wouldn’t be as decorative as I used to be. But, frankly, I was never as decorative as I wanted to be. And being even nominally decorative was never as rewarding as I thought it would be. So I was certain that, by swapping the passable attractiveness of youth for the knowing glow of sagacity, I would come out ahead.

The results have been disappointing. Instead of wisdom, I have an accretion of trivia that is as reliable as it is lucrative. And instead of gliding toward my 50th birthday on a beam of pure serenity, I am exactly as insecure, whiny, and befuddled as I was in the seventh grade.

For example: last night we had a lovely couple in for dinner. I have known her for more than 30 years. I have known him almost as long. They are good friends—kind, appreciative, not at all judgmental. And yet, from the moment they left, I have been inventorying every aspect of the evening, seeking some hostessing lapse I can use to torment myself. Perhaps the bison braise could have been better if I’d added a dash of red wine vinegar to balance the richness. Perhaps I did not need to scoot down the hall to retrieve a salad bowl at the precise moment when my guests were providing me with an update on their troubled daughter. Perhaps they noticed that our windows haven’t been washed. Ever.

I can mine this vein of shame for days. Our inconveniently enormous greyhound kept trying to snatch the hors d’oeuvres. Our dining table is too high and the chairs are too low. There are odd, unbudge-able stains on the carpet by the door. The exhaust fan in the hall bathroom has been dead for a month. The entire condo could use about $100,000 in renovations. This is not the way it was supposed to be.

All attempts to reach the customer service department have been fruitless. Even without my delinquent quotient of beautifully aged wisdom, I can deduce that I have been swindled.

Please refund my original jawline and my unfurrowed brow immediately. (You can keep the wide-eyed naiveté.) Otherwise I will contact the Better Business Bureau, the Channel 4 I-Team, and every lawyer in my circle of friends.

  • http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze Ellen Besso

    Hi Ellen: Your thoughts on aging are hilarious. I hope you write a book, e-book &/or do stand-up with this material!

    Nevertheless, no matter how you might doubt yourself, younger women usually do it more! You know what you know, & I’m sure in your moments of solitude & tranquility you feel very solid within yourself.

    Warm regards
    Ellen
    Midlife Maze
    http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

  • http://www.merlotmom.com merlotmom

    Too funny. I loved this. Please add me to your class action suit – I saw a photo of me without makeup and thought WTF? When did that happen? Scary.

  • http://www.girlsgardenofmenopause.com/ Ellen

    Fantastic idea, Allison. Msmeta, hang up the phone. We’re filing a class action suit…just as soon as we figure out where the Inexorable Passage of Time is holed up. Where do shady corporations hang out? Bermuda? Monaco?

  • http://www.womenbloom.com/blog/ Allison

    Yes, whatEVER you do, do not be bargaining away that sense of humor! It’s much better than the wie-eyed naivete, and I’m not sure it’s not better than the unfurrowed brow.

    Obviously you were standing at the front of the humor line while they were repo-ing the jawline. :-)

    Let me know if you decide to file a class action suit there!

  • http://metafootnotes.wordpress.com msmeta

    I managed to get through to them. I’ve been on hold for six years. Good luck.

  • http://www.thebiggertheyget.com Tina

    Hah! I am so with you on this. I thought the days of worrying about my skirt being stuck in my panties and lipstick on my teeth were over. Not hardly. And from what I see in my in-laws nursing home, they’re not likely to end anytime soon. What a rip…

  • http://phhhst.blogspot.com/ Phhhst

    I loved this. Whatever you do, don’t put your sense of humor on the bartering table in any new deal.

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