Comments on: Spousal Abuse: Get Your Words Off Me

By: lee martin

lee martin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:58:00 +0000

I too have been in the kit,& here comes the fat womanizing, dictator[just a few of his talents!] why ain”t this&that done? been a yr,look at this crap.[his piles are more organized,has more time than me]but mine embarrass him,i embarrass him,thats why i”m home alone all the time& hes out havin fun! chaseing tail. his favorite is your ugly! i”m thinkin me? have you really looked in the mirror at all-you ugly f—.! all these yrs iv”e had my head in the sand,& very busy w/wk,that i never saw the whole man i always knew he was a lier,thief,con-artist[never thought he"d con me] never in my wildest dreams did i think he was an narcissistic,self-absorbed,selfish,unfaithfull,evil,non-human,that was going to abuse me along w/his slut&boy slut. i did not want the last yrs of my life to be the unhappiest.here i have a young punk[9-1/2 yrs diff in age,i"m in my 60"s] like rodney i get NO_RESPECT! iv”e told him he is a bully.i also tune him out[especially 2:00-4:00 am-neighbors] when he sees im not going to play he goes away,otherwise i give it right bk.a cheap shot is not to be wasted!! its so much clearer now on who&what he is&i can”t stand him,i”m just glad i didn”t give in to be his puppet on a string. soon i”ll be able to get the hell out of here[like he wants,so he can move in his sluts]& to think how devastated i was a yr-ago when he dumped me,turned my world to crap,now its pay-back time!! Annie

By: T Jones136

T Jones136 — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:27:00 +0000

I could not put this more eloquently, clearly and as intelligent as you. My life paralelled with yours – the insults, sarcasm, name calling etc, all serve to belittle, undrmine and control. Ending with an unwillingness to tolerate more. Freedom and happiness is waking up without my tormentor. Life is for living and I am living it to the full without him, happier than 25 yrs of marriage.

By: byjane

byjane — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:29:50 +0000

@Karen,
The man you’re describing is a classic abuser–the textbook illustration, actually. The situation you were in was Stage One of a relationship that ends up with physical abuse or worse. I have two suggestions for you: One, thank yourself and your instinct for self-preservation that you slammed the door in his face. That took extreme courage! Two, find yourself a counselor who will lead you on an exploration of the ways in which your needs were met by the abuser.

By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:53:23 +0000

Hi,
I have a question. I was in a financially and verbally abusive marriage but lost all love for him quickly and left him when my son was a year old. 2 years later, I met a charming man with all of the characteristics I ever wanted. Only, he ended up being extremely emotionally abusive. He was highly critical of me- always in a joking way and even in front of others. My cooking was terrible, my parenting skills, clothing, the way I held up a conversation with him..everything. I would try so hard to please him to make him happy with me again. When he was happy with me, he was amazing..I felt amazing. When he was critical, it was usually followed by a 24 hour or so period of ignoring me. Sometimes the ignoring came first. Anyway, I finally looked reality in the eyes to see what was going on when I noticed how he was with my son. That made me strong. I started doing my own thing, going out with friends again, keeping busy at work, expressing myself when I was feeling bad with what he said. I thought that would pull him closer and change this negative behavior. Instead, he left me. Out of the blue. In the hallway of a hotel in front of my child. He was supposed to help me out of town work an event that I was hired to handle. I was stranded. He took the credit card he let me use away knowing I needed it for the hotel. He mumbled something that he can’t be with someone who has no clue what is going on around them then proceeded to yell at my child to get in the room so we could talk. I told him never to yell at my child and slammed the door in his face. That was the end. He sent me a text and email to tell all my friends and family that I broke up with him because he couldn’t commit. That is not what happened. I know my son and I are better off in the long run however I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him and still miss him. Any advice for moving on when the toxic man left you?

By: byjane

byjane — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:58:54 +0000

Here’s a link for a site that can help you: http://violenceunsilenced.com/

Good luck.

By: mary

mary — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:47:22 +0000

my boyfriend of 6 years has began not to touch me,be angry all the time not to talk to me.The small thing make a big quarell.He has problem using his money,he works god,earn good money but pay a big del og yhat to ex wife.He means he want to give her.He does not want to pay money for food and home we have together,he means i have two children and because his children are not living at home,he will not share things with me.He comes home,eat food i make but will not give money,mean i use much money on food.Sometimes he buy food but the cheapest one he can find and then just bread or something fat that my chilren does not like.
He want me to sell apartment i bought before,which i have rent.He says he do not know why i have to have other apartment,but it is all i have put away all these years.
He sit and see TV whole night,with very loud music,each time i say something he say,you and your children have whole the house i have no place then he has got whole sittingroom.Each friday he has to go out and make drunk,because he mean he need to come to reset point,then whole saturday and sunday he is not excisting with us,he is tired.

Gud i have to take it in other way…

By: Anika

Anika — Fri, 29 May 2009 14:48:07 +0000

Very interesting read, I think their would be a lot of mixed opinions on this. Love the theme that you are using, what is it?

By: freedom

freedom — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:07:50 +0000

reckon all these men and some women have the same pattern of abuse which goes back to their own insecurities from their childhood. unfortunatly we accept this and we all have breaking points some take longer than others with the suffering and i do believe that when the time is right most have the courage to leave evenutually or sadly the ones who cant find the courage to leave just end up losing feelings inwardly so sad.

i am glad that this type of abuse is now bieng brought more out in the open woman and also men who are abused mentally and physically can share thier experiences and relate to what they put up with and recognise they are not alone. For me i put them into 2 different categories there are the physical and verbal abusers who hurt to the core and then there are the verbal and physical abusers who are evil with thier words and attempt or succeed to break your spirit and unfortunatly that latter has happened to some.

to end this comment one saying which i hope brings a smile or laugh to those who read this is when someone tells u that you are stupid,useless,have an ugly body, they dont need you for money,sex, or business,and there are plenty of girls out thier who are nicer looking and better figure that you have . Then my answer to that one was why do u stay with me when i have all these defects.

thats not love and never could be.
it takes courage to leave this situation and strength masters fear.