I just wrote a blog post on this where I provide the actual numbers and stats. The numbers aren’t high comparatively, but I guess what is ‘not that big a problem’ if it’s your sister, a good friend or your Mom?

I’m with Jane when I say it is something we need to be aware of. I think we’re all too ready to believe that it happens only to gay men, or poor black women, or drug users, it could never happen to us. That just isn’t the case.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve noticed an uptick in the number of midlife friends who have contracted herpes and I understand that it is happening more and more. I’m afraid it’s becoming more widespread for the same reason…we don’t think it could be us, we are operating under an outdated assumption that men our age are monogamous, we’re single and really wanting sex and don’t ‘get’ how many people we’re sleeping with when we have sex (Duchess’s point about sexual history) or we’re new to the dating game after a divorce.

I think anything that gets us more realistic about the risks we take on with sex can only be to the better. We don’t have to blow it out of proportion, but recognize that it doesn’t just happen to ‘other people’.

There are issues that I did not have to consider at 18 and AIDS is one of them.

At midlife I have to have a discussion with someone I don’t really know about their sexual history and they get to do the same to me.

If you are coming out of a long term marriage or relationship you’ve got to know the current rules. One of which is don’t let the guy disregard your insistence on using a condom. Because it ain’t just AIDS out there; there are STDs that no one wants in their bodies.

Now you hope that you can take time to ease into that conversation but depending on how certain energies promote themselves you might have to have a few condoms in your bag, just in case.

Every women on the planet needs to be aware and act proactively to protect her sexual and physical health.

No one is clucking that everyone is at risk. Nor is there anything in the article that anyone could read as a call to protect ourselves at the expense of African women. I’m sure that you’ve read the article so you know that issue is rape and consensual sex with a cheating partner (oh my, you mean married men cheat and get away with it?!)and just plain assuming that the new guy in your life is as honest and aboveboard as you are.

Ms Alice, I don’t know about the incidence in the District of Columbia, and I would like to see your data.

Just this morning on the radio I heard a story that I suppose was really meant to scare my daughters. Apparently by the time they are 50, half of today’s young people are set to be infected.

I’m sorry, but I heard those scary stories in the 80s. They scared me then. They scared me a lot because two of my mother’s brothers were infected, and one had already died.

Almost thirty years on, most of their dire statistics and preditions (“Dont’ die of ignorance”) turned out to be nonsense, except in sub Saharan Africa

Heterosexual transmission is a big issue in South Africa. Why? One word: rape.

I’m not denying that you can get AIDS from regular, everyday sex. I know it happens. Bodily fluids are bodily fluids and theoretically you can get it from kissing (especially if you recently bit your tongue).

But mostly you get it blood to blood or from trauma. The virus spreads most easily when you inject it. It has a little more trouble with typical homosexual sex, but not a lot; the rectum is not engineered for that kind of penetration and tiny tears and splits allow the virus a way in.

And that’s why women who are raped are so much more vulnerable; women who are raped tear and bleed.

Instead of clucking about how everyone is at risk, and pretending that it is a serious problem for us all, why aren’t we being honest enough to say that most of the evidence of widespread heterosexual transmission comes from Africa, and most of that is the result of non consentual sex — or consentual sex with women who have previously been mutilated (so called female circumcision) so are also prone to tearing and bleeding.

It seems to me that while we play the politically correct game of pretending that we are all at equal risk we turn a blind eye to those who really need protection.

Do not hide your head in the sand! While the majority of HIV/AIDS is spread by men who have sex with men, do not assume that women are not affected or infected. Heterosexual transmission has risen sharply since the CDC began tracking transmission in the 1980′s.

HIV is an equal-opportunity virus. (The H stands for Human) In a report issued on 3/29/09, the rate of HIV infection in the U.S. District of Columbia surpasses many African countries. Heterosexual women were the second fastest growing segment in the report.

Complacency about HIV in the heterosexual community is all too common. I did quite a bit of gallivating around in my single days in the 1980′s. I realize now how very lucky I am. Here’s to safer sex every time!