Comments on: The Beginning of the End: When a Parent Starts to Fade http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/ Making The Most of MidLife--Together Fri, 17 Dec 2010 21:56:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.3 By: Babybloomr http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-3118 Babybloomr Wed, 06 May 2009 20:36:30 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-3118 Oh Linda, what a hard situation you are facing. But I agree, you are dealing with a man whose brain is no longer functioning normally and there have to be steps made for his own protection. Doesn't make it less heartbreaking though, does it? Oh Linda, what a hard situation you are facing. But I agree, you are dealing with a man whose brain is no longer functioning normally and there have to be steps made for his own protection. Doesn’t make it less heartbreaking though, does it?

]]> By: Lindatall2 http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-3115 Lindatall2 Wed, 06 May 2009 18:59:41 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-3115 My dad is 90 and within the past 6 months has deteriorated so quickly...he imagines people in the house, my brother came in the middle of the night and "stole his front teeth." He believes my sister in law asked him to marry her because my brother is having an affair with his 90 year old woman friend. Then, the next day we have a normal conversation about me, my dog, living in La (he's in Chicago). What my brother and I struggle with is my dad absolutely will not go see a doctor, he's lost 35 lbs over the past several months..."and I just don't know why, Linda." My brother and I are planning an "intervention," where we will ask him to go to the hospital and if he refuses, which we know he will, we will call 911 and have the police forcibly take him. All I can do to get through this is to keep on telling myself that this isn't my father...it's a 90 year old man with a brain that no longer functions. My mother passed several years ago and I'm divorced with no children. As someone said to me, when youre parents die, the realization that "you're on the batter's mound..you're next." There's no more playing in the outfield, being o the bench..you're at bat and facing your own aging and immortality is very challenging...especially since I feel so terribly alone and very lonely. Thanks for bringing up this subject as painful as it is. My dad is 90 and within the past 6 months has deteriorated so quickly…he imagines people in the house, my brother came in the middle of the night and “stole his front teeth.” He believes my sister in law asked him to marry her because my brother is having an affair with his 90 year old woman friend. Then, the next day we have a normal conversation about me, my dog, living in La (he’s in Chicago). What my brother and I struggle with is my dad absolutely will not go see a doctor, he’s lost 35 lbs over the past several months…”and I just don’t know why, Linda.” My brother and I are planning an “intervention,” where we will ask him to go to the hospital and if he refuses, which we know he will, we will call 911 and have the police forcibly take him. All I can do to get through this is to keep on telling myself that this isn’t my father…it’s a 90 year old man with a brain that no longer functions. My mother passed several years ago and I’m divorced with no children. As someone said to me, when youre parents die, the realization that “you’re on the batter’s mound..you’re next.” There’s no more playing in the outfield, being o the bench..you’re at bat and facing your own aging and immortality is very challenging…especially since I feel so terribly alone and very lonely. Thanks for bringing up this subject as painful as it is.

]]> By: Babybloomr http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-3065 Babybloomr Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:52:34 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-3065 Well put. That makes perfect sense to me. Well put. That makes perfect sense to me.

]]> By: @CuriousDina http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-3064 @CuriousDina Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:45:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-3064 More stubborn than 10 mules, I never doubted my mom when she said she just might live forever. It seemed plausible. Yet, I just crossed this threshold with my mother who is finally beginning to fade. We haven't had the easiest of relationships for a variety of reasons. We've both made the peace we enjoy now. So, you'd think I'd want her here longer. But I don't. I'll be happy if she goes quietly in her sleep sometime soon. I realized on my last visit that mom's tired of being strong. Ready to put down her burdens and take a new path. I'll trade having her at graduation, or the kids weddings easily for she has no more days of pain, frustration and soul weariness. She deserves better. More stubborn than 10 mules, I never doubted my mom when she said she just might live forever. It seemed plausible. Yet, I just crossed this threshold with my mother who is finally beginning to fade.

We haven’t had the easiest of relationships for a variety of reasons. We’ve both made the peace we enjoy now. So, you’d think I’d want her here longer. But I don’t. I’ll be happy if she goes quietly in her sleep sometime soon.

I realized on my last visit that mom’s tired of being strong. Ready to put down her burdens and take a new path. I’ll trade having her at graduation, or the kids weddings easily for she has no more days of pain, frustration and soul weariness. She deserves better.

]]> By: midlife mommy http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-3042 midlife mommy Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:07:36 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-3042 My dad has dementia too, and his is the result of hardening of the arteries in his brain. Makes sense, since he has problems in his heart as well. But - he is able to use the Alzheimer's drugs, even though what he has is different, and they do work for him. Perhaps they might work for your dad? My dad has dementia too, and his is the result of hardening of the arteries in his brain. Makes sense, since he has problems in his heart as well. But – he is able to use the Alzheimer’s drugs, even though what he has is different, and they do work for him. Perhaps they might work for your dad?

]]> By: Babybloomr http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-2979 Babybloomr Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:08:45 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-2979 Duchess, I believe in inheritance, too, I can see some of each of my parents in my girls. Judi, Thank you, I appreciate those words. Joanna, Sounds like you have walked/are walking this road... Duchess,
I believe in inheritance, too, I can see some of each of my parents in my girls.

Judi,
Thank you, I appreciate those words.

Joanna,
Sounds like you have walked/are walking this road…

]]> By: Joanna Jenkins http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-2967 Joanna Jenkins Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:34:33 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-2967 This is a story I know all too well. Grace is a hard thing to find when you're scared and sad and your heart is breaking, but it sounds like you are all doing a lovely and loving job of it. xo This is a story I know all too well. Grace is a hard thing to find when you’re scared and sad and your heart is breaking, but it sounds like you are all doing a lovely and loving job of it. xo

]]> By: Judi http://midlifebloggers.com/2009/04/01/the-beginning-of-the-end-when-a-parent-starts-to-fade/comment-page-1/#comment-2965 Judi Sun, 05 Apr 2009 01:51:02 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=999#comment-2965 You did a wonderful job saying what so many of us feel. God bless you all! You did a wonderful job saying what so many of us feel. God bless you all!

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