Thanks for the introduction to James. Last night, you and I talked about different features you could add to your site. Perhaps you should consider an online dating service to help us midlifers muddle through that whole clumsy scene.

Lynn

Thank you for this meet-up and highly entertaining discussion. You are all so smart and funny, I wish we could all go out to dinner and laugh for hours over a bottle of wine — or two!

And James, would you believe that I actually DO live in the Sacramento area? In fact, I grew up here. I even knew a Jim McDonald, kind of, at one time. Rosemont area. That wouldn’t be you, by chance, would it?

Lynn

Awkward? Yesssss – unbelievably so. I never set out to look for younger men; never trolled the bars with younger men (or any man) as my target – I was simply out for a good time with my friends. Two factors: (a) Genetics – I have always looked younger than my age and (b) sense of humor and attitude. When it (having younger men approach me) happened, I was truly confused and conflicted. After a while, it sunk in that the universe was trying to tell me something, so I went with the flow. My fiance and I met each other at work. We shared many common interests, among them music, the arts, books. I thought he was older; he thought I was younger. We decided that, while not the norm, the age difference didn’t matter, and if we could deal with it, other people better get used to it as well.

I agree with Delicate Flower regarding the label “cougar.” I despise that tag. In his second comment, James so succinctly and perfectly describes the “why” for me. James: thank you. If I’m ever on the West Coast, I’d love to have coffee with you and Jane, to whom I am grateful for considering, critiquing and posting my essays on MidLife Bloggers. Check out Jane’s Writer’s Workshop: she puts a lot of effort into this, and Joanna Jenkins of thefiftyfactor and I are two of Jane’s students who always sit in the first row and pay strict attention. Thank you, Jane.

@Lia: Hey, my biggest turn-ons are intellect and humour. If you can make me think and laugh, then I’m happily in the game. Age is NOT a factor. And by the way, “You go, Grrrrl!!!!!” When you find your soulmate, ages are irrelevant.

@Lynn: See above. You wouldn’t happen to live anywhere near the Sacramento, CA area, would you? Rawr! Hey, I’m all in favour of take-out and a good movie at home. With me, however, you can keep the lights up. Oh! and it can actually be a movie made before 1995!

@Lynn again: There is a difference between someone older on a fool’s errand to try and regain their youth by pursuing someone significantly younger, and two people in different age brackets who happen to find a connection. To me, that is what defines the “Cougar” phenomenon (although it’s interesting that there was not a name for the same scenario with an older male and a younger female. I’ve adopted the term “Wolf” to mean “Male Cougar”.). The women who actively (and often aggressively) pursue younger men JUST because they are younger men are the female equivalents to the “leisure suit Larrys” who prowl the clubs looking for their lost youth. They do not represent everyone in their gender/age bracket and as far as I’m concerned, they are just as pathetic as their male counterparts. Again, if two people find a genuine connection, then their ages do not matter, but you are unlikely to meet your soul mate while singling out a younger person at a bar. This goes for BOTH males and females.

@Jane: LOVE this site!!!!! You and I are LONG overdue for a coffee @ Coffee Bridge! Am I the lone male voice here? Hey, we’re not ALL about Football and Golf! Just because you’re sporting a Y chromosome, doesn’t mean that you are not able to relate to the issues affecting our XX counterparts!

@Lynn again again: Seriously, get in touch with me!