Comments on: What Happens After Tomorrow? Planning for the Unplannable http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/ Making The Most of MidLife--Together Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:27:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Snarky Boomer http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8675 Snarky Boomer Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:12:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8675 My personal experience both with long term care insurance and a dying parent and care giver. The long term care insurance was not a good experience, so I would advise to be very careful with choosing a plan/timing- etc. Best planning you can do is to plan way ahead. Look at alternatives of living in communities that have support for aging. As in sell your home and move to a senior type community. Have a home that is equipped with rails, wide halls, ease of access. Alert systems or monitors. Something as simple as having the money set aside for someone to come in once a day- cook one meal, set up for breakfast, set meds into a timer dispenser and tidy the home. These things all depend on the degree of care needed. So if you plan to get old (let's hope so) you better plan to need some assistance sometime and some point. My personal experience both with long term care insurance and a dying parent and care giver. The long term care insurance was not a good experience, so I would advise to be very careful with choosing a plan/timing- etc. Best planning you can do is to plan way ahead. Look at alternatives of living in communities that have support for aging. As in sell your home and move to a senior type community. Have a home that is equipped with rails, wide halls, ease of access. Alert systems or monitors. Something as simple as having the money set aside for someone to come in once a day- cook one meal, set up for breakfast, set meds into a timer dispenser and tidy the home. These things all depend on the degree of care needed. So if you plan to get old (let’s hope so) you better plan to need some assistance sometime and some point.

]]> By: Joanna Jenkins http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8673 Joanna Jenkins Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:40:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8673 Jane, You did a beautiful job with the post and a wonderful job with your mom. I know that delicate balancing act and I'm so glad you were there for her. As for longterm care insurance. At the moment I am thanking the heavens that my folks were 100% on board with this and covered. In March we started the process of moving my folks into a senior living facility with a continuum of care. Their longterm care insurance is absolutely why they were accepted. Without it I honestly don't know what we would do. That said, my sweet step-dad passed away unexpectedly last month and never needed his fairly expensive longterm care insurance. But.... and this is a big but... I KNOW he passed happy knowing my mom would be taken care of "no matter what" as her insurance premium will always be paid by his estate. My husband (age 71) has longterm care insurance too. He got it during the time his mother was in a skilled nursing facility with Alzheimer's for nine years. She did not have the insurance and he paid for her wonderful care. I'm 53 and thinking very seriously of getting it now. So yes! This is an excellent post. I'm going to guess that there are quite a few readers who don't even know this kind of insurance is available since so few of my 50-somehting friends are aware of it. I'll be watching for your follow-up post. jj Jane, You did a beautiful job with the post and a wonderful job with your mom. I know that delicate balancing act and I’m so glad you were there for her.

As for longterm care insurance. At the moment I am thanking the heavens that my folks were 100% on board with this and covered. In March we started the process of moving my folks into a senior living facility with a continuum of care. Their longterm care insurance is absolutely why they were accepted. Without it I honestly don’t know what we would do.

That said, my sweet step-dad passed away unexpectedly last month and never needed his fairly expensive longterm care insurance. But…. and this is a big but… I KNOW he passed happy knowing my mom would be taken care of
“no matter what” as her insurance premium will always be paid by his estate.

My husband (age 71) has longterm care insurance too. He got it during the time his mother was in a skilled nursing facility with Alzheimer’s for nine years. She did not have the insurance and he paid for her wonderful care.

I’m 53 and thinking very seriously of getting it now. So yes! This is an excellent post. I’m going to guess that there are quite a few readers who don’t even know this kind of insurance is available since so few of my 50-somehting friends are aware of it.

I’ll be watching for your follow-up post. jj

]]> By: Jane http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8672 Jane Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:05:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8672 Lee, Your comment touched a nerve with me as we're in similar situations: no kids, no available family. That's what I'm writing about for next month--I hope you'll come back for that. btw, my mother's name was Lee! Lee,

Your comment touched a nerve with me as we’re in similar situations: no kids, no available family. That’s what I’m writing about for next month–I hope you’ll come back for that.

btw, my mother’s name was Lee!

]]> By: Lee Hill http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8671 Lee Hill Thu, 22 Sep 2011 14:58:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8671 A very thought-provoking article; thank you. As a woman with a now-elderly Mother, I know that we will one day face the same role-reversal you spoke of, and it won't be easy. My Mom is also a very determined, very independent person accustomed to self-sufficiency; I worry about how she will fare when she is no longer able to do everything for herself. And, although she has also gone to great lengths to provide for her financial and medical needs, the reality is that you just can't plan for everything. It also makes me wonder what my waning years will hold, as a woman with no children and no other family who will be living when I reach my golden years. The thought of wasting away alone in a nursing home is frightening, but it will likely be my fate, so I'm doing what I can to prepare myself for that. Again, thank you for a very touching and insightful article. A very thought-provoking article; thank you.
As a woman with a now-elderly Mother, I know that we will one day face the same role-reversal you spoke of, and it won’t be easy. My Mom is also a very determined, very independent person accustomed to self-sufficiency; I worry about how she will fare when she is no longer able to do everything for herself. And, although she has also gone to great lengths to provide for her financial and medical needs, the reality is that you just can’t plan for everything.
It also makes me wonder what my waning years will hold, as a woman with no children and no other family who will be living when I reach my golden years. The thought of wasting away alone in a nursing home is frightening, but it will likely be my fate, so I’m doing what I can to prepare myself for that.
Again, thank you for a very touching and insightful article.

]]> By: Jane http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8668 Jane Tue, 20 Sep 2011 19:46:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8668 Darryle, My family thought the way we hide from death was silly--not saying someone is dead..."they've passed" or "we lost him." The latter would bring a reply from my father -- 'well, you were careless; go find him.' So talking about and facing their deaths came naturally to me. But not to my sister.... Darryle,
My family thought the way we hide from death was silly–not saying someone is dead…”they’ve passed” or “we lost him.” The latter would bring a reply from my father — ‘well, you were careless; go find him.’ So talking about and facing their deaths came naturally to me. But not to my sister….

]]> By: Jane http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8669 Jane Tue, 20 Sep 2011 19:46:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8669 And you are both as well! And you are both as well!

]]> By: Darryle http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8667 Darryle Tue, 20 Sep 2011 08:00:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8667 This was hard for me to read for many reasons, especially right now since I'm dealing with some of these same issues, only not for my own parents who are both gone. I almost envy people like you who have the chance to have some closure. I think our society finds this such a hard topic to discuss or even think about---and applaud you for doing it. This was hard for me to read for many reasons, especially right now since I’m dealing with some of these same issues, only not for my own parents who are both gone. I almost envy people like you who have the chance to have some closure. I think our society finds this such a hard topic to discuss or even think about—and applaud you for doing it.

]]> By: Shani Ferguson http://midlifebloggers.com/2011/09/19/what-happens-after-tomorrow-planning-for-the-unplannable/comment-page-1/#comment-8666 Shani Ferguson Tue, 20 Sep 2011 01:20:00 +0000 http://midlifebloggers.com/?p=4626#comment-8666 You are an awesome daughter, and a damn fine cousin, as well! You are an awesome daughter, and a damn fine cousin, as well!

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