Do I say this often enough? One of our mandates here at MidLifeBloggers is to be a place where people in midlife can test their wings, try a new flight path, change life directions without crashing and burning. That’s why there are so many “new” writers and artists published here. Today, however, we’ve got a new kind of “new”: a midlife man who abandoned the successful advertising business he had created to become a filmmaker. Specifically, Anthony Tarsitano wrote and directed Calling It Quits, a feature length film that has won a number of awards at national and international film festivals. He sent us the film and we watched it, expecting a grand pile of amateurish, self-aggrandizing air. Instead, what we got was a real movie, one that has all the Hollywood chops one could ask for. We were fascinated: how did someone who had never made a movie before turn out this? So we asked him–and here’s what he said.
Are you happy yet? Even with fifty years or more under one’s belt, that‘s a question the answer to which can still appear to be elusive. So what do you do? In my case, I made my first feature film. And, guess what it’s about? A baby boomer’s search for happiness! All right, it’s this baby boomer’s search for happiness.
You may be asking how does someone wake up one morning and make a film? Let me back up for a moment and give you some background, my history. I got my BFA in Painting in the 70’s. After a couple of years of struggling to become a famous artist, I decided to shed the urban Bohemian lifestyle (it was more romantic in movies and books) to make a living. I went into advertising. I worked my way up to an Art Director, then Creative Director on the corporate side. Eventually I started my own agency, and with hard work, some breaks and good clients, my business flourished. It was then, when I was writing and directing TV commercials for quality name brands that I fell in love with the moving image and the process of telling a story.
But with all the success I had, I wasn’t happy. I was thankful, but not happy. Those 10-12 hour days 6 day weeks caught up with me, and I was burning out. So, after twenty years of business, I sold my company and that’s where the real story starts. My burning out brought me the grace to discover the truth about happiness. And thus a story was born. (I’ll share more about the happiness part shortly).
I now had a character, that’s me. I had a premise, the search for happiness. And I had a character arc, unhappy to happy (or lets call a sense of well being). In short, I had my film. And I was off — with the enthusiasm of a kid. My goal was simply to make the film, nothing more. It would be fun.
That is also where the first truth about happiness came to me. For the first time in my life, since I was a little boy playing mindlessly for hours in the yard, I was finally doing something I wanted to do without concern about the outcome and it’s impact on my future. I was present, living in that moment. How about that? I had a dream to do something just for the sake of doing. I deeply understood how to look at things and not just intellectually. I had learned along the way, with the guidance of those more aware than I, that as I coined it, life is not a goal, but an experience. And to experience, you must be present.
O.K., now the film is done. We all smile and show it to a few friends–let’s call them focus groups (it sounds better). And guess what? They all loved it and they asked, “What are you doing with it?”
Being the practical person I am, and with help for some folks who knew more about the film market, I immersed myself into the world of Film Festivals and begin entering a handful. Those submissions turned into acceptances, and I was now on the Film Festival Circuit. I was again enjoying the whole process: meeting other filmmakers, screening to sold-out audiences, and seeing how wonderfully the film resonated with baby boomers across the country. I was hearing again and again–“That’s me on the screen.” I even began to win awards for Best Story, Best Director, Best Film and people started asking me, “What are you doing with your film?”
It was then that I learned about the business of getting your film distributed. And after a few modest discussions, I tripped over a plan to self-distribute my film on DVD. Now, me being me, I just had to do it that way. My film is now available via the web on DVD through our site http://www.callingitquitsmovie.com.
Looking back now at the whole journey I can clearly see that each step, each conversation, each handshake, each time I heard the audience laugh or cry watching my film is what happiness or well-being is. It’s not an ego seeking accolades or fame. It’s not about how much money your film made at the box office–although there is nothing wrong with either. Happiness is about soaking in each moment of each experience–so called, good or bad–and embracing that moment. For each moment brings the next and the next and the next. I have finally stopped concerning myself about the future and live keenly aware of the now. And I constantly remind myself …
1. No matter what, you can’t stop being and doing the things that are uniquely you.
2. Accept all that comes your way without judgment – because, even my burnout brought me to understand happiness.
What difficulty has life thrown at you? And how will welcoming that difficulty bring you to a better place? As the opening line of my film puts it: “Are you happy? If not, why? Could it be that what you experience is a mere reflection of your own view of the world? “
Calling It Quits is now out on DVD. You can buy it by going to film’s website. Or you can win a copy of your own on MidLifeBloggers. Here’s what you have to do:
- Write a comment here about the questions Anthony poses in his last paragraph
- You must include a valid email address (no exceptions, even if I know you).
- Entrants must be 18 or older.
- You have one week in which to enter. This contest closes September 14, 2010. Entries will be accepted until 11.59pm on that date.
- Winner will be chosen from qualified entries using random.org.
- I will contact the winner by email to get their snail mail addresses, and the production company, City Squirrel Films, will send you the DVD.
Popularity: unranked [?]
MidLifeBloggers
All Top Stories 
