What To Do With That Stuff We No Longer Need…

by Barbara Younger of Friend For the Ride

 

Decisions have never given me much trouble. In fact, I find most decisions liberating.

I’ve decided about college, career, husband, babies, houses, investments, plotlines for novels, and one of the biggest of all: a mother of the bride dress. But for the life of me, now that I’m finished with periods, I can’t decide what to do with my leftover tampons.

Tampons are turning up everywhere: in purses, drawers, suitcases, book bags, bathroom closets, glove compartments, jewelry boxes, coat pockets, junk drawers, and the oddest place of all, the bottom of a snow boot. I’ve been depositing them in the upstairs closet in a lovely blue bowl. What a collection!

I considered a tampon-burning, but that seems a bit harsh. After all, tampons have rescued me on many occasions. I thought of giving them to my daughters, but the girls like another brand. Shelters welcome donations of feminine products, but they prefer new boxes. I could give them to a still-menstruating (yuck-I’ve always hated that word) friend, but it might be awkward handing over a zip lock bag bulging with tampons.

So this decision has not been made. No matter what I decide, I’ve got a happy choice ahead of me. Let’s hear it for the liberty to make decisions, and let’s hear it for tampon liberation! And for you younger women still madly tucking tampons here and there, be of cheer, at least tampons are liberating you from what your great-grandmothers went through.

Maybe we should start an art project, a communal “I’m Done With All That” sculpture made with all those tampons–and sanitary pads…and the other ‘stuff’ we always had to have on us.  What did you do with yours?  Tell us in the comments.

Photo credit: allwomenstalk.com

 

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  • Patricia Lake

    Whatever you do, don’t give them away. After 11 months of…well…not needing them, I gave my “remnants” to my stepson’s girlfriend. Three days later, my body decided to change its mind about the whole deal, and I had to go to the store and buy tampons.
    This has been a wild ride. Menopause should require a passport. You have no idea what might happen next – like hair on your upper lip! What is that about?! And you are completely helpless because you sure can’t remember where the tweezers are kept. Unbelievable! I used to be fairly bright…
    Hot and mindless,
    Patricia

    • Barbara

      Love it!! The passport! Made of chocolate, so if we get really frustrated, we just gobble it up and order another one.

  • http://remarkablewrinklies.com/ Patti Winker

    Okay, Barbara… it never occurred to me that women were having trouble deciding what to do with all their (remember this?) feminine protection. :D

    The moment I was officially in menopause, I was so happy to toss the surplus pads and tampons. I re-dedicated the spot in the bathroom cabinet to tiny travel stuff and felt giddy!

    Just had a thought… I wonder if the tampons would make nice fire starters? Would that be too much to handle sitting there in the pretty little kindling basket next to the fireplace amongst the pine cones, etc.?

    • Barbara Younger

      Patti, You are brilliant! Fire starters it is! Thanks!

  • aeron

    Have you checked out http://www.tamponcrafts.com? I found it when I was looking online to see if any other women were wondering – as I was – what to do with stashes that keep turning up in hiding places around the house.

    • Barbara Younger

      Thanks so much for posting. I will link to this at some point on Friend for the Ride. What a hoot!

  • http://www.midlifeweight.com Tara

    So funny and true! I hung on to mine for a while..tried to give them to my D’s but they don’t use super size! Look forward to reading your blog:)

    • Barbara Younger

      Yes, come visit me on my blog.

  • https://verdant4ever.wordpress.com/ Lee Hill1985

    Oh my!! This totally cracked me up – after my hysterectomy, I faced the same quandary. A year later I’m still finding them in the oddest little cubby-holes! Great post – *still giggling!*

  • Mary Atkinson

    Toddlers love taking apart tampons! Save them for your grandchildren.

    • Barbara Younger

      Fun! I have one daughter talking babies. Cross you fingers for us!

  • Margaret Nevinski

    Barb, this is hilarious. Seven years after my last period, I still have a stash of tampons under the sink, and no idea what to do with them. I keep thinking that a young friend, over for lunch, will ask, “Do you have any tampons?” Then I can gloriously say, “Yes!” Sadly, that hasn’t happened. The neglected tampons are still languishing in their plastic bag. Melinda, thanks for your story about your cat. I’m going to see if our kitties Max and Zoey are interested.

    • Barbara Younger

      Your kitties will love them! And you could draw mouse ears and whiskers on them to make them even more exciting.

  • Miss Ellie

    Fun story: The girls I work with decided to celebrate a co-workers birthday and decorated her car’s back bumper with tampons attached with string. They hide them inside the bumper so she wouldn’t notice. As she pulled away, they all fell down and dangled behind the car. On her way home, people were honking and smiling and she had no idea of why they were doing this until she got home. There she spied the hanging tampons, who during the ride home, soaked up the rain-sleeked roads and stared back at her in full bloom. While quite embarrassed at the time, she loves telling this story and she loves her co-workers as well.

    • Barbara Younger

      OMG! That one might take the cake!

  • Michele Regenold

    How about random acts of kindness with tampons? Leave them in public restroom stalls.

    • Barbara Younger

      Good suggestion!

  • Karen

    They are all in a nice little baggie in the hall guest bathroom, I have mentioned to my 13 year old granddaughter that they are there but the color her face turns when I say period gets the same hue as what they are used for!

    • Barbara Younger

      Cute!

  • Barbara Younger

    Fun! My bras are suddenly seeming very very dull.

  • http://soniamarsh.com Sonia Marsh/Gutsy Living

    Very funny, especially how you made a heart shape with two of them. I went to a “Stomp Out Breast Cancer” fundraiser yesterday where they had bras with themes: such as the “Titanny bra”, the shell bra and butterfly bra, being auctioned off.

  • Lucie

    Hilarious. And I have to say I never thought of using them as a new kitty toy. Mine are still in the bathroom drawer, with my left over pads. I have used the pads to apply stain on hardwood. They work really well.

    • Barbara Younger

      Perfect! Never, ever would have though of that.

    • Tara

      the pads come in handy for incontinence, which I have discovered is part and parcel with post menopause.

  • Lisaadoan

    I would take them out of their wrappers and leave them outside for birds and squirrels – they would make nice padding for nests. ‘Course, you’d need to put them well out of sight so that you don’t become the local crazy lady.

    • Barbara Younger

      The birds and squirrels will be so thankful. And if we ALL do it, we can be group crazy ladies!

  • Melinda Folse

    Well, this prompts me to relate with an unusual leftover tampon story of my own. My cat found one in a suitcase I was packing and carried her prize mousie around for days. Turns out that when slapped, they scoot and twirl across hardwood floors in the most delightful of ways, and, once liberated from its aged wrapper, also proffered a splendid tail by which to carry it. Didn’t have the heart to take it away. now I’m just waiting for the unexpected guest to attempt a tactful inquiry about the unwrapped tampon laying in the middle of my living room floor. No, it’s not there now. I have no idea what Kitty did with it. But I know it will be in plain view when I least expect or want it to be. So there’s my leftover tampon story. Like the sculpture idea. So does my cat.

    • Barbara Younger

      What a wonderful story! What a happy and creative kitty. You should be very proud.

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