A Mother’s Lesssons

by Mark Paxson of King Midget Ramblings

I was a compliant child. Until I wasn’t. I grew up in a family where my mom was the rule-setter and enforcer. For the most part anyway. Every once in a while, my father stepped in to put an end to things. Day in, day out, however, my mother was the guide for her children and I, for the most part, followed her guidance. I had a sister who didn’t, I saw the pain and disruption, and chose to obey instead. Until I didn’t.

In one six week blizzard of disobedience, I went from the youngest child who pleased his mother to the only one of the four children to get kicked out of the house. The details are unimportant. All I know is this. I broke my mother’s heart.

She taught me something in the years that rolled by. She kept me in her life, reaching out to me, talking and always being a part of my life. As I went through law school, got married, and provided her with two of her five grandchildren, she never wavered in her love of me, even with the broken heart.

For a long time, I wasn’t the best son to her. My mother would call to talk about something that mattered to her. Too often, I was short with her and I don’t know why. I have no doubt she could hear the frustration in my voice, my impatience at the conversation. She never complained though and eventually something wonderful happened.

My family was never very touchy feely. Not a lot of hugs or statements of love or appreciation. We would joke on our birthdays about the hug my mother insisted upon on those special occasions. The rest of the year, we wouldn’t touch.

A few years ago, that all changed. My mother said something to me once as I hugged her about how much she appreciated my hugs. From that moment forward, I promised to myself to hug her every time I saw her. I believe I have fulfilled that promise. Those hugs have helped me see her as somebody other than just my mother. She’s a human being with feelings and needs. The hugs have helped me find more love and patience.

The relationship I have with my mother now is growing. We talk about things we never talked about before. We share our pain and our joy with each other in a new way. Sometimes my impatience creeps in a tad and I catch myself and put it back where it belongs. She never earned my impatience or disrespect. What she had earned was my love and support and it took me years to figure that out.

On this Mother’s Day, I apologize to my mother for the broken heart I gave her. I apologize for any pain or suffering I caused her. On this Mother’s Day, I promise to my mother to learn from the lessons she taught me over the past twenty-five years. Love is an incredible and powerful thing. Hugs can heal. Love you, Mom, and I promise to always work at being a better son to you.

 Photo credit: 100araw.com

Tagged as: family, mothers, mothers day