I never would have thought to ask this until lately when my rehab therapists have spent so much time raking me over the coals about my posture and the way I walk.
Yes, I’ve known for years–because my father so often reprimanded me–that I don’t stand up straight. I have what some (generously I thought) call a Model’s Slouch. That is, I lead with my stomach. Add to this that I do something funny with my knees–with each step I lock the weight-bearing knee. This has a fancy name which I’ve been told but never bothered to remember. Why should I? It’s the way I walk. It gets me where I’m going, doesn’t it?
In Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy, this has become the source of much discussion. As has the fact that I now–since the surgery or before??–push my head forward at what I’m told is an unnatural angle. The problem is, it feels very natural to me. I have no idea that I’m doing it until someone points it out to me. When the therapists have given me instructions on how to properly hold my head, it feels weird, not to mention awkward and who-the-hell-walks-this-way.
I have, it seems, no sense of where and how my body is. They’re right; I don’t, so much so that I have no sense of what that sentence actually means. Gloria, my physical therapist, has me stand against a wall with a ball in the small of my back. This evidently forces me to stand correctly. Then she has me walk up and down the length of the therapy room, and she has taught me that the correct gait is to keep my legs spread further apart than feels natural (sort of like I’ve wet my pants) and then, especially with the left leg which is the weaker, to goose step. When I do this, she nods approvingly. The only thing I can tell you that I’m doing, apart from the spread legs and goose step, is to suck in my gut. Other than those three things, I haven’t a clue why this is right and my normal walk is wrong.
I’ve just come back from walking. I did 1.31 miles around my neighborhood. Level ground, yes, but still–that’s over a mile! I’m so proud, but I’m also mystified. Did I walk that 1.31 miles the right way or the wrong way? Without Gloria watching, I can’t tell. On the last leg of my walk, I thought about something that my OT, Sidan, said to me the other day. “When you walk, you are all in your head.”she said. “You’re dreaming about whatever is coming next and what you’re thinking or planning or writing. Your head rules your body.”
Isn’t that true for everyone?
If it’s not for you, could you please explain what it means to have your body rule your head. Gloria and Sidan will thank you and, yes, I will too.
I’m rarely mindful when I walk. But then the opposite of that would be mindless which I suppose is more like it although I’m all up in my mind. Hmph. Yoga and hard cardio like spin class are the only two things I’ve found that pull me out of my head and into my body.
I have secondary progressive MS – definitely can still walk, albeit at a slow pace and with a drunken gait. So often while walking, especially in airports — MY HEAD & MY BODY seem far removed from reality! My head (EGO) Is saying, “Uh oh, upcoming stairs, obstacles, small children, etc… Whatever you do – DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!” While my body is saying, “Whoa Nelly, hold on to that railing, balance yourself, sit down, etc… and whatever you do, “DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!” In either case – my EGO, i.e., VANITY seems to win out! 🙂
Oh gee, Stacy, I don’t know why it seems wrong to me to categorize the source of your feelings as ego or vanity. That seems like a double whammy: the MS is one thing, but to take on the blame for your emotional response too….?
I imagine a string going through the length of my body and out through my head connecting me to the sky. It keeps me straight and tall and lets my legs step naturally and my arms swing easily.
Do you focus on the string as you’re walking, Mary? Or just at the start?
At the start and when I feel myself slouching as I walk.
Funny … it was my mother who always told me to sit up straight! I didn’t. And now I have the stenosis and pinched nerve to show for it. Fortunately, PT set me … er, straight.
Cute, Tom, very cute. I take it your PT was wholly successful.
I know exactly what you mean. I have been in PT for a frozen shoulder and have been made painfully aware of how I not only stand and walk wrong, but sit and lay down wrong as well. In fact I SLEEP wrong. Last session I had to practice laying down correctly. Which made me feel like I had to lay down. Talk about making yourself crazy and insecure! My favorite PT encourages connecting with your inner child and listening to your body – moving naturally. Kids don’t have pain and issues. But if I can’t even lay down correctly, I fear I am doomed to live as a crippled, frozen shouldered, pinched nerved hunchback for all eternity!
How did this happen to us, Ciaran??? Who can we blame???
I’m going to guess she is right.
I have been trying to be much
more mindful when I take walks.
I try not to think of what comes next
and be 100% present, using all of my
senses during the walk.
What an excellent idea, Doreen. Thank you.