Six months ago, when I pulled the plug on MidLifeBloggers as it had existed, I wasn’t sure what this thing I was calling Beyond MidLifeBloggers: The Other Side of Sixty would be. When I started MidLifeBloggers back in 2007, I was responding to the ubiquity of the youth- and mommy- oriented internet. I envisioned my site as a gathering place for all of us, no matter our age, who identified as being in the middle of our lives, a place for our experiments in recreating ourselves as we moved through middle age. Then I was more or less a lone voice speaking to and for those who identified as being in midlife. Today, however, there are a number of sites offering community and counsel as well as a platform for expression to bloggers in their 50s. The midlife community continues to grow and is now incredibly well-served. But for those of us in our 60s and beyond? Not so much?
Midlife I have always insisted is a state of mind, but there is definitely a point at which you age out. The topics and issues, dreams and worries that concerned me in my 50s are pretty much settled now that I’m in my 60s. I don’t need to think and read and learn about menopause because that is truly old news. My friends and I also seem to have settled the issue of ourselves as sexual beings: some of us are and some of us aren’t, but all of us are content with our choices. Too, we’ve mostly resolved the plastic surgery/filler issues in our own ways, according to our personal beliefs and pocketbooks and we’re past the empty nest issues as well. Career-wise, there’s a settledness about us. Gone is the urgency to Become Something. One way or another, we’ve come to terms with who and what and where we are in our world.
So then if sex, career, and beauty are not burning issues for us, what is? Well, there’s always love. Our relationships, our friends and the world itself are still high on the list of things we want to talk about. And you know that thing about age and wisdom–thinking and talking about the future, what it is, what we want it to be, how to achieve it? Good old-fashioned philosophizing is something my friends and I do a lot of. There’s company and comfort in discussing those big issues, the taboo issues like death and dying, because at the other side of sixty, you know while you may not have all the time in the world, you now are free to think and be however you want.
Over the six months since I closed MidLifeBloggers as an on-line magazine, I’ve worked to hear myself and to get a sense of how I want to continue. As my official bio says, I “was, am, and will always be a writer.” Writing–and teaching writing– is how I want to spend the next decade or so of my life. If as part of that, I give voice to an underserved demographic again, so much the better. Beyond MidLifeBloggers, The Other Side of Sixty becomes, then, a natural evolution from MidLifeBloggers, and it will use the same url and exist in the same place. It will be a place for showing the world that there is indeed life after 60–and that it is good. If you’d like to be a part, let me know.
Ahh, Jane, feels like home!
Kathy! I’m glad. C’mon in…stay awhile!
Who knew this side of 60 would bring so many new issues to our lives! I have to laugh when I think back to my 50’s and the “over the hill” stigma greeting card companies placed on us! People used to say “Poor dear, she has issues”, they really didn’t have a clue. Approaching late 60’s the term “issues” takes on a whole new meaning . . . anyone with me?
Very nice post to discuss your transition from one passage through life to another at this time. Nice job.
One of the women who regular attends my Tucson Women Bloggers Meetup runs another Meetup called Life’s Third Trimester, and I cannot wait until I can be in her group. As I say per BlogHer and Mommy Blogging – I was a Mommy Blogger before there was Mommy Blogging… back in 1990 when I started writing for money, back when we called it freelancing for Parenting Publications and Newspapers… I’m only 57, but I am all about getting our voices out there, our knowledge out there to collectively skew the tipping point toward women’s wisdom. I looked forward to my daughter making her own successful way in the world, and can’t find any area of my life that is empty. Peri-menopause was hellish, but menopause lasted about three seconds for me and was no problem — 10 years ago. I think I want to throw in with your lot!
But you were already in the mix, Nancy. I had no idea you were sooooo young..Oh–that came out sounding wrong; let me try again. Every time we’ve met, I’ve felt sympatico so I just assumed we were roughly the same decade.
Welcome to the other side, from Tom “Over Sixty” Sightings!
Great idea and so much to discuss. Women over 60 are often invisible in the media. In effect,.we’re told to “Lean Out,” not In at a time in our lives when we finally can focus long-delayed items whether work or second careers, renewing friendships and romantic relationships, reinventing what it means to be a grandparent, taking care of our health, dealing with elderly parents and on and on.Out adult children come in all ages from right out of college to 30 and even 40-somethings which present different challenges.
I’ve never been good at following orders. If someone tells me to Lean Out, that’s just incentive for me to Lean In. Actually, the fact is I don’t hear the Lean Out instructions at all. Or if I do, I assume that they could not possibly mean me!!
I’m halfway through sixty and I would love to be part of the discussion. I’m not sure what the next years will bring but I want it to be my choice and fabulous!
You are part of the discussion, Suzanne. I hope you’ll share some of what you’re thinking about your choice as to what the next years will bring.
I’m going to be 60 in a little less than a month…and while sex is very much a part of my life and my life’s work at this point—there are other things that call to me personally. I could second much of what the others have said here. I’m still moving and growing and changing, but it is definitely different. I’ve been with you for a number of years and I’m still here.
Oh Walker, you are indeed one of the original MidLifeBloggers, and I look forward to seeing how you contribute to this iteration.
Thank you, Jane! I have begun to cull my blog subscriptions for the very reasons you state, At 62 I am ruminating about things like how to keep my spine straight and getting off my dime to make sure my health continues on the upswing rather than the downward spiral of apathy. I cherish my long-time friends and enjoy meeting new and creative thinkers. And, even though I am still full-time in the workforce, I am enjoying plotting and planning my next ‘career’ and where in the world that might be located. Count me in! I am not a blogger but I do write and speak about topics important to women our age: downsizing, aging-in-place, future-planning our perfect spaces. As a life-long learner I am excited about your new venture. Please keep me posted!
I curse the “downward spiral of apathy”, Mindy! It has defeated many a good woman (and man). Your comment spurs me on here and I look forward to seeing more of you on Beyond MidLifeBloggers.
I’m interested in what you’re describing. I’m in my late 60’s and feeling excited about life’s possibilities at this age. I’d like to recommend a consistently good and useful Blog: Time Goes By (timegoesby.net). Ronni Bennet covers topics of interest to those of us on the far side of sixty. We’ve got lots to say and explore.
Thanks for the recommendation to Ronni Bennet’s site. It actually pre-dates MidLifeBloggers. I haven’t seen it in recent years; I have some issues with the lens she used through which to view aging. Maybe the site has changed, though, and I should have another look.
Not only is there life beyond 60. I’m finding it better than ever. As long as we keep our health and fitness, aside from child-bearing, there’s nothing we can’t do that we did before. I’m still galloping horses. These aren’t our parents’ 60s.
Spot on, Jane. (And I am over BlogHer too.) I am finding, as a midlife newspaper columnist (based in the Midwest), that readers our age (60+) are most interested in topics such as dealing with aging parents, facing down dementia (our own, and our parents’), and, meanwhile, how to deepen our (3D) friendships now that we actually have more time for them. Looking forward to your next incarnation!
Count me in, enthusiastically. Lots to talk about–beyond the empty nest and menopause. Our grown children are still part of our lives and that relationship constantly needs fine-tuning [tho not mommying]. and we’re still active and fashionable [within the comfort zone priority]
Consider yourself enthusiastically counted in. Let’s see who else joins us–you, me and Carol Cassara–and discuss what we want to do about it.
I think this is brilliant, actually. Like you, so much of what I read in midlife groups is irrelevant to me, either by nature or just because I’ve been there/done that. Many groups are now defining midlife as further down into the mommy years, which makes me way less interested. I’m with you in a big way. Count me in. Who knows, maybe we can do something together.
Carol
http://carolcassara.com/hollister/
They are defining midlife down into the mommy years now, aren’t they. I noticed that on the #midlifebloggers chat BlogHer had a couple of weeks ago. Am I annoyed that after years of telling me midlife wasn’t a relevant topic for them, BlogHer has now decided to take over the party? Eh! The thing about the other side of sixty is that you don’t give a shit about that bullshit so much any more.
I’m glad to have you as a comrade-in-arms, Carol!!!!
i’m very over BlogHer.