The universe is quite clearly trying to teach me a lesson. I just wish it wouldn’t be so obtuse about what that lesson is.
2016 is supposed to be the year I (choose one)
- get my mojo back
- get my bank account back
- get my health back
- etc etc etc
It started out fine. We did not do anything special for New Year’s because in 2015 when I made a point that we had to bring in the New Year with a celebration (see photo of that event above), the year didn’t go so well. The happy face I showed over my chocolate whatzit on New Year’s Eve quickly disappeared when I came face to face with that fact that there was no little genie putting money in my bank account to keep me solvent. Who knew one had to keep track of such things oneself? The financial angst that ensued was–well, angsty–but we persevered and pushed through. Things came and went (like my car, but also–yay!–all the attendant expenses such as gas and insurance and, oh yes, car payments). Finally at the ripe old age of 70 I had the satisfaction of knowing that I had enough work that we would be okay.
So one fine January day a couple of weeks ago, I decided that it was time to do #3. I would resume walking around my neighborhood. I was strolling with just good will in my heart when–well, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was strolling, the next thing I knew a paramedic was asking me if I knew my name.
The only know facts thus far are these:
- I fell full force on my face, with nothing to break my fall. I looked like I had been in a fight with a kickboxer.
- I ended up at UCLA for a good 24 hours
- I think I broke my nose–UCLA ER is not particularly good about sharing relevant info with the patient
- I did something strange to my right eye, which is now not seeing as it should and not blinking in tandem with the left
- I was stitched up (but not washed off–what’s that about, UCLA?)
- I was sent home with a cervical collar, one of the hard kind, that mean business when you put them on
- I was told to see my neurosurgeon
Yesterday I saw him. Add to the things I broke: my neck.
This is ridiculous. Me with a broken neck? I don’t have time for this bullshit. But clearly, the universe (and the doctor, the husband and the older sister) are saying, “Too bad. Deal with it. You’re not driving, showering, living independently for–oh, who knows how long.”
I have no patience with being sick. I never did. And I’m basically a very impatient person: when I decide I want something, I want to go after it right away. So, maybe what the universe is trying to teach me is patience.
To which I say, “What for, universe?”
And somewhere back in a corner of my mind, I hear…you’re going to need it as you get older and more things go wrong and you have less control over yourself and your life.
A large part of my impatience is that WHY I went down in the first place is unknown. Eventually the medical people will tell me, I assume. Till then, I’m left with the thought–Get used to it. Deal with it. Actually, I think the greatest lesson of being on the other side of sixty is that you really need to hitch up your Big Girl Panties more often.
Wow. Oh, wow. It maybe a good thing you broke your nose and had to go to the hospital and they told you to go to the neurosurgeon to find out about the neck. Thank the good Lord. How about writing about all this while you are sitting still. (very still.) The year I vowed to improve my health and broke my neck. I think your smiling, grimacing — joking in the face of all this crazy adversity at 70 is inspiring! You are beautiful. I can see the cover already. Hang in there Champ.
Wow, Jamie, and yes, indeedy. I am using my ‘sitting very still’ time to write, or at least think about writing. And maybe jot a word or two. And, of course, read the worthwhile blogs of others. For which I again thank you. (have I gotten enough dependent clauses in here to–well, to satisfy Sarah Palin?????)
What the hell?!?!?!?! A broken neck. OMG, Jane.
Not happy to hear UCLA wasn’t exactly on the ball– Didn’t they TELL you that you’d broken your neck? Sheesh. Glad you follow-ed up like they suggested.
Be kind to yourself and kick and scream as much as you need to. It doesn’t matter what age you are– a ailment stinks and you’ve had more than your fair share.
Hang in there.
Big (gentle)( hugs,
xo jj
I have had more than my share of ailments and frankly, I find it embarrassing. I absolutely do no identify as an ailment/accident-prone person. I identify as more Wonder Woman-ish. That’s why it seems to me the Universe Is Trying To Tell Me Something! Get a new identity, maybe?
Car called today while she was having -_________( fill in the blank (a) a coke
(B) orgasm (c) chemo and mentioned that Shani read your blog, which I immediately read. Yikes, I thought breaking your neck was(a) only something your mother warned you about if you went too high on the swing, (b)something your mother swore she would do to you if you had sex before marriage (c) some thing that happens when it is one thing you never ever even thought would happen to you.
Well it got you blogging again! Heal quickly, take care. Love you And
See you in Buffalo
Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry to hear this, Jane. I wish that I were nearby so that I could help. Of course you’re still writing — broken neck and all. Sending virtual lasagna.
Jen
Oh wow…virtual lasagna! I love it any way I can get it….And yes, of course I’m still writing, because with a broken neck, that’s about all I can do. I’m trying to fashion this into an acceptable message from the universe!
Yikes, Jane! I’m so sorry. We just brought my mother-in-law back home after she tripped down our stairs and broke 3 ribs on Christmas Eve, and back before Thanksgiving, my dad fell on the sidewalk and needed to get 13 stitches in his face. You outdid them both! Good luck with a patient recovery.
thanks, Florinda….hope your relatives are doing well.
Jane, that’s awful. I wish I were there to bring you chicken soup and chocolate mousse and just do something to help. I’m sorry this is how your year started. Please keep us posted about your progress and prognosis. I know I’d be scared, so yes, pull up your Big Girl Panties, but be kind to yourself, too. You don’t have to be tough 24/7.
On another note, I figured out why I couldn’t post before. Some update (not selected, just showed up) on my computer automatically brings things up in some weird cloud browser. I don’t know how it happened or how to change it back. When I opened your site through Chrome, it looks normal again. My name and info isn’t automatically appearing. So hopefully, this will actually post. So here goes .. . .
Kate,
Thanks for the virtual chicken soup and chocolate mousse! You know me so well! And thanks for the reminder to be kind to myself. As soon as I hit Enter on that post, I was pissed off at myself for sounding so damned perky. I daren’t let anyone see the ups and downs I go through…because? Bad role model? Too vulnerable for comfort? As long as I look like I’m okay, everyone can think I’m okay and then the only person who knows I’m not okay is me…and I won’t tell.
And here’s a virtual hug. One of those long, hard hugs where we hang on for a long time and maybe rock a little and pat each other’s backs. Now relax on the couch tonight and see if you can find something funny on Netflix. I think I saw that “Meet the Patels” is already streaming. You would love that, if you’re looking for suggestions.
Isn’t a wedgie when your underpants ride up the crack in your ass? Do those of us on the Other Side of Sixty even have asses?
You broke your neck?!? That is some serious overachieving, Janie!
Thanks for appreciating my efforts, Shani!!!!
Sounds like a life full of wedgies to me.