by Allison Allen, of WomenBloom

When Jane asked if I would write a post for Midlifebloggers, I had an ACKKK! What do I write about? moment. Thankfully, she expressed curiosity about how I came to start WomenBloom. Whew, rescued.

In fall of 2006, I suddenly realized I was coming up on my 49th birthday. I was thunderstruck. That meant, gulp, I was about to enter my fiftieth year…culminating in a 50th birthday! How did THAT happen??? That sent me into a rebellious tailspin, let me tell you. In October 2006, on a week long backpacking trip (a BIG stretch) way into the deep wilds of Utah, I resolved to make it a Momentous Year and thumb my nose at the Universe or whoever was responsible for making me turn freakin’ 50.

I came back from that trip, acted out a little by taking up the bass guitar, playing around with a personal blog, and developing a strong affinity for dramatic highlights in my hair and for animal print of any kind, all of which provided some immediate relief.

But despite the guitar playing and new hair, something deeper was gnawing at me. I became bored stiff with my routines, and interests that were once all absorbing left me yawning. I felt smothered by my cute little house packed with antiques, knick knacks, china and other stuff accumulated over the years. Ugh.

Pretty classic midlife crisis stuff, right?

I got a late start professionally speaking. I was married and living in a small East Texas town, helping out in my husband’s medical practice part time but mostly doing small town community work. When I was 36, Lee died in a small plane crash. Traumatic? Yes. But, eventually, with no kids, and not wanting to be a single woman in deep East Texas (scary thought), I moved to Austin to discover who Allison was besides half of a couple.

Beginning at 40, through a job at the Chamber of Commerce doing economic development work, a fascination with the entrepreneurial mindset, and a program in leadership and ethics, I learned my strengths and my passion: helping people, teams, etc. get what they need to be bigger than they are. It is my delight. But in my 50th year, I felt I was wasting a lot of my own potential.

That troubled me. A lot.

Can anyone else relate to parents who, despite their loving best intentions, dinged their children’s self-confidence? Oh, the internal voices telling me I couldn’t do this or that, pointing out all the reasons why something wouldn’t work before I ever got started, hinting I might fail, questioning why-even if obviously successful-I couldn’t do better, or if it couldn’t be perfect at the outset, why try? In a pleasant enough but underachieving job, I knew in my heart I was letting those fear mongering voices hold me back.

What the heck was I WAITING for ANYway? I couldn’t stand the thought of wasting one more minute being afraid of doing as much as I could.

In early 2007, I began to dream of quitting my job, getting rid of as much stuff as I could, storing the rest and renting out my house, renting a room somewhere… basically downsizing and creating clean space inside and out so something new could come in. But what??

In the course of my navel gazing midlife angst, I talked to lots of women. I realized we were all trying to figure out what in tarnation midlife meant. Living longer, better health, first generation of women to work in large numbers meant more options…all that had changed the landscape. I clearly wasn’t the only middle-aged woman asking ‘Could someone just give me the dern road map PLEASE??’

In one of those sudden, random, but profound Aha! moments, I saw…an issue I cared about deeply, a group struggling to make sense of who they were going to be in the face of some big changes, and an outlet for doing something I loved.

Voila. A web community where midlife women could find practical information and resources, inspiration, and support for navigating midlife challenges and opportunities. It felt just right.

So, a year ago, I jumped off the cliff, embraced the downsizing (SO liberating), and began figuring out WomenBloom. It has pushed me past so many of my comfort zones I’ve lost count. I am not the person I was, I push back against the voices now.

Another obvious blessing has been meeting women like Jane, Karen at Midlife’s A Trip and all you bloggers. As Jane wisely said, hearing others’ stories and experiences can inspire us through the bumps. I find that on Midlifebloggers and through WomenBloom.

That road map thing? We are drawing it together! Rock on, Groovy Chicks, rock on!