News the Midlife Nose Knows

by Darryle Pollack of I Never Signed Up For This

Just saw on the internet there is news on the scientific frontier.  A study was released today showing that a million people a year, mostly men, are sliding closer into dementia–which is three times more people than the researchers expected.  A leading expert labelled this a “crisis.”  Very comforting to know that the timing lines up perfectly with aging baby boomers–who are right in line for this new pre-Alzheimer’s condition.

For some of you, this study might be alarming.  For me it’s old news.  Alzheimer’s is one of the stronger branches on my family tree, so I’ve always expected it.  In fact, when I got cancer in my 40’s, one of my goals was to live long enough to develop Alzheimer’s.

Still I am worried that my mental decline could be premature.  Mixed in with all the depressing news, there is one tiny sliver of hope: a nose spray that has some promising, although limited, effect in possibly delaying this pre-dementia.  (I’ve never really understood why they put medicine in pills or nose spray when chocolate seems to offer a perfectly good delivery system.)

Anyway before you consider tracking down the nose spray I thought it might be useful to have a simple test to see if you’re in imminent danger of developing this condition.  This short series of questions can help zero in on people who might be at risk.

#1–Do you ever misplace your keys?

#2–Do you ever misplace your cell phone?

#3–Do you ever misplace the little gadget that helps you locate your keys and cell phone?

#4–Do you ever forget to put something on your list of things to do?

#5–Do you ever make a list of things to do and forget where you put the list?

#6–Do you ever repeat something you already said?

#6–Do you ever walk into a room and forget why you are there?

#7–Do you ever repeat something you already said?

#8–Did you notice that #6 on this list was repeated twice?

#9–Do you ever forget a birthday or anniversary?

#10–Do you ever forget that George Bush is still president?

ANSWER KEY:  If you answered “yes” to more than 4 of the above I would definitely buy the nose spray.  I think my husband and I are both ready– not only for the nose spray– but for the eyedrops and mouthwash.

6 thoughts on “News the Midlife Nose Knows”

  1. Wish I could forget we elected Bush in the first place—been trying to forget that for 8 years.
    And I’m not a teacher but my feeling about my own kids as teenagers is that their memories are really selective–when it comes to homework, they never remember. But a transgression from a mother—they never forget.

  2. This can’t be the test. Why is it the only thing on that list I never forget is who our president has been the last eight years. I’m with vintage Mommy. And Laura too. My 10th graders sound like her 9th graders.

  3. The fourteen-year-olds I teach can’t remember the homework I assigned a minute after I said it three times and had them write it down in their planners. What do they get?

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