The Sexiest Man Alive: The Midlife Version

by Darryle Pollack of I Never Signed Up For This

Hey, these things matter.  Once I heard the news was out, I didn’t even wait till my issue arrived–I went right to the People magazine website.  Inquiring minds want to know, and all that.

This year the magazine took a bold step beyond favorite sons Brad Pitt and George Clooney (who I’d be happy to see as the winner every year).  Recognizing that this is the year for change in America, People magazine gives the title to…Hugh Jackman.  Hugh Shmoo.  You blew it this year, People.  Everyone knows the sexiest man alive right now is Barack Obama.

My complaints aren’t limited to the top choice.  On the website People shows 15 of their sexiest men:

Do you know who this is???  I didn’t.

Don’t know him either.

Looks like Todd Palin, the First Dude.  ( But it’s not )

Todd would have been a better choice.  At least people know who he is.

I didn’t recognize the names or faces of half of these guys.  Check it out.  And please tell me I’m not the only one who’s out of touch.
After I wrote this, I figured I could offer People Magazine some constructive criticism.  So:

Who SHOULD be on the List of the Sexiest Men Alive

Barack Obama: a no-brainer

Javier Bardem: OK, he was on the list but he should have been higher up

Paul Newman: even when he’s gone,  no one comes close

Jon Stewart: smart and funny are always sexy

Nicolas Sarkozy: he must have something if Carla Bruni married him, plus he’s French

Clive Owen: those eyes, that accent

Bruce Springsteen: after that concert for Obama, he’ll probably get to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom, too

Javier Bardem: just  in case you weren’t paying attention

Jake Gyllenhaal: is there a mother in America who is NOT in love with him?

Jason Taylor:  Four words: Dancing with the Stars

My husband V: I had to put him on the list.  I have to sleep with him.

My brother-in-law Paul: Ditto.  Not the sleeping part but I have to spend all next week with him.

Any man who can cook: which would immediately disqualify my husband and my brother-in-law