Social Networking…
I wish it weren’t so, but truly I suck at social networking. I sucked at networking when it was just business-oriented. I sucked at networking when it was a school dance or party. It’s not that I’m a wallflower or pathetically shy; it’s just that I can’t get myself to care. Even when I know I should do.
Last night I went to a Twitter meetup in Sacramento. After years of local people saying to me, “Blog? What’s that?” and “Twitter? What’s that?”, the Web 2.0 scene has finally come to Sacramento. I am, of course, thrilled. Or think I should be.
But there is something about all those earnest people Getting Acquainted! Exchanging Cards! Sharing Business Concepts that creates in me a massive case of Don’t Give A Shit!
But I should give a shit. Because I’ve got some business concepts worth sharing. And I’ve got cards to exchange that go with those concepts. And really, I go to these events ready to meet and greet and…..
Maybe that’s the problem. Why do I go to these events? Actually, it’s the first thing, the Getting Acquainted, that draws me. Top in my list of Life Goals is “Know Interesting People.” After that is, “Have Good Conversations.” And “Laugh A Lot”–that’s probably number three. Not remotely near the top is Meet People Who Can Help Me In My Business. If it happens, that’s a bonus.
Last night I found myself doing a circuit around the perimeter of attendees. Round and round I went, looking for a likely person to Get Acquainted with. Mostly they were all very busy doing what they had come to do: trolling for contacts, honing their Elevator Spiel. Every once in a while I would stop and introduce myself–there were definitely some people there who were Interesting People–and we would chat for a while. And then, they’d go their way. And I’d make another circuit of the room.
I think I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the Desire in that room. And maybe, depressed. Because shouldn’t I have that same Desire? And if I don’t, does that mean I’m doomed to fail?
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Chris: I think I need to be more discerning about which ones I go to. To continue your metaphor: if my closest friends are all seafood, then I should probably not go to a freshwater fish convention.
I dread some of these networking events too. A lot of it seems too forced and insincere. But every now and then you make a real connection…someone you really click with, and then it’s kind of worth it. A little like dating and fishing, but a whole lot less messy. I usually come away from these things glad that I got up the nerve to go.
I can so relate. Simply Forties: so you are the person who ties up the waitstaff when I am desperate for someone to talk to! It’s a given, I’ll come away having learned a lot about the waitress and bartender than anything else.
Maybe because self-promoting feels too much like desperation and whoring. Of course, I say that like it’s a bad thing.
byjane reply on March 10th, 2009 12:12 am:
Yeah–but I gotta get over it…and myself!
Eeek – my worst nightmare. I suck at both self-promotion and networking. Could it be because we are writers? I much prefer sitting back and observing people, eavesdropping on their conversations, to actually, ugh, interacting with them. Except on-line of course. I’m great at networking in the blogosphere!
byjane reply on March 8th, 2009 3:44 pm:
I’m trying to figure out what about self-promotion so turns me off. ‘Cause if I don’t, I might as well give up what I’m doing.
Maybe that I see people who are doing it as being too needy. And neediness on public view makes me uncomfortable, as in “you’re insecurities are showing…” God forbid that my insecurities should show!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I’m terrible at those sorts of events too. I have a friend who excels at them and always comes away with 10 or 15 new best friends. I, on the other hand, have usually been busy chatting up a bartender or waitress or, even worse, no one! Don’t know why it should be so hard!