Selfishness in Disguise

by Barbara Shallue of Long Hollow

Clutter and chaos – the catchphrase of my house and life right now. Even my to-do lists are a mess, scribbled on scraps of paper scattered all over the house and shoved to the bottom of my purse. I am on a roll of writing and house projects…but I feel like someone trying to run with lead weights tied to her ankles.

Time really does move faster when you’re older. I doubt there is any scientific proof of that statement, but I know everyone my age and older will agree with me. I just blinked and 2009 had passed me by before I realized it…and 2010 is already moving just as fast!

Nevertheless, I’m taking a road trip this weekend…sticking to my vow of visiting my parents at least once a month. I know it will make my parents happy, and that in itself makes it worth ignoring those lists for a couple of days.

But here’s a confession…I’m doing this for me more than I’m doing it for them.

Too many of my friends no longer have parents to go visit. They would give anything to be able to jump in their car and drive for a few hours to feel the warmth of a parent’s hug just one more time…to be able to sit and visit, re-tell favorite stories about their childhood, ask questions, unload some of life’s problems. Tom lives too far from his parents for a “quick” visit.

God has blessed me with this opportunity and I’m going to take advantage of it, now that my weekends are free of soccer games, band tournaments…you know the list…all those moments of active hands-on parenting that I wouldn’t have traded for anything, but that made it impossible to take off on a road trip like this.

I’m going for hugs and stories and just being with them…but, back to the confessional, I have even more ulterior motives…

First…as morbid as this sounds, there is no guarantee that my parents will be the first to “go”, so to speak. Our days are numbered…some have fewer than others…and I have no idea what my number is. But if I do go first, I want my parents to remember me as a daughter who loved them, who made time for them, who ENJOYED them. I want them to have many, many recent memories…not just old stories.

Second (and this is the really selfish one)…if I am blessed with a long life, I want my children to come see me. Often. I want them to make me a priority at least every once in a while over all of the other demands of their busy lives. And as with every other thing I’ve tried to teach them, I need to set a good example for them, right? Kids will always be kids, doing not what we tell them to do, but what they see us doing.

This will be a short visit, just one night. It will be Mama-and-Daddy-and-siblings-focused…in other words, I’m not going anywhere except maybe a quick run to Rae’s to check out her Mexican Import garage sale. Just to look, not to buy, I swear! So those of you who remember where my parents live, please come by and visit! I’m sure they would love to see you as much as I would!

Here’s wishing all of you a weekend surrounded by ones you love – go hug someone!