I first noticed back when I lived in London (in the days when England was mid-swing) that January and February were bad months for me. I can remember saying at some point that I wished I could just skip those months, get sick or something. One year (probably just after I’d made that statement), I did get some Illness of Unknown Etiology, which manifested itself as tremendous fatigue and an elevated white blood count. It was serious enough that I was made to stay in bed for several weeks. That was the first time I realized how strong is the link between the mind and the body.

Now, of course, the DSM-IV lists Seasonal Affect as a specifier for mood disorder. I thought maybe legitimating it had had a positive effect because I haven’t had those bad winter months in some time. But then…

Since Christmas, I have been dragging my ass–and other parts of my body–feeling that old familiar Depression. The one that puts me in a Sartrean frame of mind, where the meaning of life totally escapes me. I’ve been lying in bed until I won’t admit what time in the morning, thinking, “Yep, I sure am depressed. Geeze, that’s amazing, considering the amount of Prozac I take every day. Perhaps I need to talk to Tom Cruise about other vitamins. Perhaps I need to…”

But then I get out of bed, one foot in front of the other, and somehow the day gets a beginning, and a middle, and finally an end. Mostly I’m doing what we shrinks tell people to do, “sit with the feeling…see where it’s going….”

Then this morning I did the one foot out of bed routine and got into my car and–by golly, holy whatever, the goddamned sun was shining. Shining. It was warm. I almost put the top down. I was so excited. And all day I’ve been in a great state of mind. I cleaned. I took an active interest in things that were, heretofore, dead to me.

I am just amazed at how strong the link between the mind and body is, and how sunshine–SUNSHINE, for God’s sake–can make such a difference in my state of mind.