By Ellen Besso of MidLife Maze

In the Vancouver Sun recently, there was an article on bodysnarking, a term I was unfamiliar with. I knew women were cruel to other women about bodies and body image, I just didn’t know it was this formallized, I guess I could say.

According to the article,

“bodysnarking involves mercilessly appraising ordinary people’s appearances on a worldwide playing field that includes social networking hubs, photo-sharing services and blogs…policing personal imperfections…”

You know, this approach isn’t really that surprising given the tortuous pulling apart of women on fashion makeover shows and the sometimes nasty critiques on American Idol. Basically those shows, and other written media have modelled and taught people (who one could argue, are impressionable), to do this. Glamour Magazine has had a website page, called Don’tspotting since 2006, that encourages women to criticize their peers’ appearances. (the pic of 3 very normal looking women is from dontspotting)

A recent television ad for Cadbury Thins (100 calories per package) shows a woman, with a shake of her head and a negative expression, discouraging another woman from buying a dress she’s trying on, because she wants it for herself. There’s nothing wrong with the way the dress looks on the first woman, but she trusted that the opinion of the second woman was an honest and accurate one. Consequently she didn’t buy the dress, and the second woman got it!

Whatever happened to women supporting women?? I wrote to the Cadbury company and said I thought this ad was going against years of feminism. In their first reply to me they said they had marketed tested the ad before using it and it had been vetted by their testers. In their next reply, from another department, they said the ad had been discontinued!, much to my surprise, and pleasure. I’d sure like to hear some of the other negative criticisms they received about it. They also said they were sending me some Thins for my trouble!!

So where does this leave midlife women, most of whom (I hope), have philosphies that are kinder to their fellow woman? We’re just as aware of the fashion messages, and for the push for perfection in the area of beauty and appearance (like in many areas of our culture). I guess a lot of us try to strike a middleground, of grooming and dressing (half-way) decently in a way that pleases our own selves…and not trying to look like we’re 20 years old.