What Really Makes Us Late?

by Carol J. Clouse of No Clocks

If you feel perplexed about your life, and cannot fathom why you do the things you do or exactly what the hell your problem is, individuals exist who can help clear all that up for you.

They are called therapists, and they possess degrees from esteemed institutes of higher learning that qualify them to explain, among other things, exactly what the hell your problem is. And, to help you understand many important facets of your character, such as why you hate mustaches or why baklava makes you cry.

Because I spend much of my time trying to figure out exactly what the hell my problem is, I always have a myriad of questions for my therapist and recently asked her to explain the various psychological theories about lateness, one of my most loyal shortcomings.

And by the way, occasional circumstantial tardiness doesn’t count. I wanted to know why I’m late for everything—school, work, meetings, doctor’s appointments, parties, therapy.

Freudian psychologists believe that we arrive late because something about where we’re headed causes us some sort of anxiety—a situation we don’t want to face, something that makes us unhappy or uncomfortable.

Ah-ha! So basically, I’m late for work because I don’t want to work. Of course! You know, I have often thought as I sat down and cracked open that third beer, ‘Carol, now you are just avoiding walking out the door.’

This insight makes perfect sense when it comes to doctor’s appointments and parties full of strangers, both of which cause me a certain amount of apprehension. But I couldn’t be anxious about everything, could I? What about movie theaters? Movie theaters don’t cause me anxiety. And what about going to meet a good friend who I really want to see? That doesn’t make me anxious either.

“Well, sometimes we just learn bad habits, no one teaches us the importance of being on time,” my therapist said. Ah-ha! So it is my mother. “Lateness can also be a sort of rebellion. And for some people it’s cultural,” she said. “But, quite often, it’s anxiety.”

Are you perpetually late?  Do you know people who are?  Why do you think lateness happens?

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  • http://vintagemommy.com Vintage Mommy

    Hi Carol – the beer thing made me laugh out loud! I don’t know you at all, so please take this with a huge grain of salt, but I think some lateness is a form of passive/aggressive behavior, a need for control, or outright hostility.

    I have lots and lots of organizational and efficiency issues, but I’m rarely late. I deal with scary medical appointments by not making them in the first place – much much easier.

    I did attend an institute of esteemed higher learning, but my psychology expertise is strictly self-taught :-)

    Look forward to visiting your blog.

  • http://www.noclocks.wordpress.com Carol J. Clouse

    Actually, my therapist did mention something about control, or a sense of power over another person. But I thought, naaawwww. :)
    Thanks for reading.

  • http://morrcreative.blogspot.com Dianne

    I read that people who are always late tend to be optimists. They think they can get more done in a short time and tend to pack their days too full. It seems that one activity takes longer than expected and puts them behind for the rest of the day. Seems as good a theory as any.

  • http://colormepink.com Christine

    Well, I don’t know, because I have the exact opposite problem – I’m perpetually early. Really. Early. My children make fun of it. I spend a lot of my life waiting in parking lots, because I’m so early. I could totally get on board with blaming our mothers though.

  • http://www.noclocks.wordpress.com Carol J. Clouse

    Thanks for the comments, everyone. I’m happy to both consider myself an optimist and blame my mother. The human psyche is extremely complicated after all.

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