Jon & Kate Plus 8: Hang ‘em from the highest tree

I just finished the season opener of Jon & Kate Plus 8. It was painful to watch, especially for anyone who has gone through the breakup of a marriage. Clearly they are each putting on the Brave Face that I remember so well from my own life, and that, perhaps, makes it harder for me at least to see. I get the sense that they are both doing the best they can in a crummy situation.

Meanwhile, the citizens are milling about yelling, Jump! Jump! Or maybe, to make the metaphor I’m reaching for clearer, Off With Their Heads!
I am astonished at the hysteria that this family has generated in the tabloid press, and thus on line, and therefore in Twitters and Facebooks etc. etc. etc. For a while public sentiment was against Jon, the doubledealing, cheating, oh-my-god-he-got-hair-plugs, what-does-he-do-for-a-living-anyway husband. But now, now Kate is on the rack because…because–

…because she’s a woman and she isn’t meek. I have a couple of book shelves full of most worthy historical assessments of the role of women, with titles like Disorderly Conduct, The Female Grotesque, and (one of my person favorites) The Madwoman in the Attic. They are all a testimony to the fact that in our culture, we have not wanted our women bold and beautiful and we have certainly not wanted them smart and articulate. Kate Gosselin fails on all four points, and thus she must be chastened, scourged, and maybe even burned at the stake.

As always, it amazes, saddens and disgusts me that it is mostly women who are casting the stones. Lord, how we love to hate each other. And we’re so good at it, aren’t we? While little boys bash each other over the head to establish dominance in the sandbox, we girls do it with sly innuendo and backbiting. We’re the master (if I can use that word) of the verbal assault because really, that’s the only ammunition our culture has allowed us.

I don’t know what will happen to the Gosselins.  I wish them well.  I wish their period of time being scapegoats for the American shadow psyche is brief.  I wish we weren’t all so fucking eager to raise the flag and then, just when it’s flying high, pull it down to trample it in the muck.  I don’t know–I guess I wish we weren’t so human.

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  • http://thursdaydrive.com Jennifer H

    Nothing but applause from here…

  • http://midlifebloggers.com byjane

    Jennifer H: I cross-posted this on ByJane and there is a dissenter over there. Makes me wonder why we need our television personalities to be so much better than we are. Do they not deserve the focus and money unless they are perfect human beings?

  • http://outonthestoop.blogspot.com Gena

    Thank goodness I don’t have cable. I’ve have been getting drifts of info this couple from conversations at the office and other places.

    Here is the thing. I think people assume that when you have 8 kids you don’t have time for outside romantic interests and recreational activities. It is almost like viewers need a contemporary version of Father Knows Best. An intact, loving kid focused family.

    A perfect family. Only one problem. There are humans involved. Real flesh and blood people. Not perfect. Never was and shouldn’t be held to an impossible standard to reach.

    Now having an affair while promoting family values TV show is probably a stupid thing to do. No, wait a minute. Having an affair after having 8 kids is a bone stupid thing to do.

    I think folks are angry that they broke the 4th wall and showed the cooties. I think the couple is angry because this isn’t the kind of fame that they wanted. Adoration, not criticism or humiliation.

    The Hookers and the Johns felt hurt and cheated. Y’all can have what passes as television entertainment. I got books and audio books to keep me warm.

  • http://www.thefiftyfactor.com Joanna Jenkins

    I do not “get” reality tv. Why are cameras following this family around and why do we care? And more importantly, did anyone ask the kids if they wanted their lives splashed all over television– And that was before the current “affair drama” started. Don’t get me wrong, I watch a lot of tv, just not this stuff. I makes me feel like a Peeping Tom.

  • http://www.sasstown.com the Mayor

    I think if we are religious we call it our sin nature. The fact that there is 24 hour coverage of every titillating event only adds fuel to the fire. One of the things I appreciate about being middle aged is viewing things from a broader, and often less judgmental perspective.

  • http://www.laferle.com Cindy La Ferle

    I totally agree with Joanna. I think “reality TV” is totally unreal, not to mention unhealthy — in more ways than I could possibly list here. I don’t watch this show, and have no interest in tuning in. Lord knows, I have enough to do. I also wonder about the mental health of a culture that is compelled to care about such things.

    My husband and I were listening to Gail King talking about this subject on her radio show. It generated a conversation that went something like this:

    Me: “If a camera were following us around in our home all day, would you be your REAL self? Would you speak your REAL truth? Would you say ordinary things you’d say if you weren’t on television?”
    My husband: “Hell, no!”

  • http://gudnuff.blogspot.com gudnuff

    I don’t watch the show anymore. I watched it sporadically for the first couple of seasons. I like Kate’s strength, but question her judgment, in a LOT of things. Jon’s too, for that matter. It’s difficult for me to respect a lot of their choices, beginning with choosing the reality series as a way of life, clearly aligning their family’s welfare to the success of the show. Dangerous. Very risky. Not very wise, it seems to me. Why would you take such a chance, hinge your way of life to the public’s appetite for reality tv, about YOU? Wow. that’s some questionable judgment right there. But I give Kate credit for this: she does NOT play the victim, and I do appreciate and even respect that. I’m so sick of the martyrs and the weepy ones getting all the support.

  • http://midlifebloggers.com byjane

    Yes, yes, and yes, I agree with all of you, sort of.

    As to why they went for it in the first place–I get the sense (and maybe they said) that they were a video-happy couple before they were even married. So their ease with life lived in front of a camera was well-underway before the kids came along.

    I do think they speak their “real truth”. They sounded just like me and my husband when we were carping at each other–including the “you’re breathing to loud” comment from Kate.

    I also think the public’s response to them says more about us than the two principals: what we are comfortable seeing with regard to relationships, how we fashion gender roles, etc etc etc.

  • http://vibrantnation.com barbara

    All of a sudden I get the feeling that Jon and Kate said yes to the series so they could financially take care of their family. There was a brief episode on a news channel where attorneys were talking about their tv contract and what could possibly happen if they were to try to cancel it. ie: a suit against them or whatever.

    I feel sorry for them–that they cannot apparently handle being together on screen or spending time with their children from what I can see together.

  • http://midlifebloggers.com byjane

    barbara: I see a show in the near future: Kate Plus Eight, in which a single mother of twins and sextuplets learns to live again after her husband leaves her, etc. etc. etc. Could be a winner, I think.

  • http://bettejosbeadcreations.blogspot.com BetteJo

    I’ve watched the show from the beginning, I wrote about it on my blog too. The 1st episode this season was incredibly sad and I too can relate from going through my own divorce. I just keep thinking about how awful it will be for the kids if they can’t put their marriage back together.
    Also, I think if more people knew the story of the pregnancy – they didn’t have tons of eggs implanted or anything, and why they started the show to begin with, I think they might be a little less willing to make them walk the plank.

  • http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com Laura

    Wasn’t it nicer to read tragegies that had gone through the mind of writers? Wouldn’t it be nice if things could be reflected through reflection of a thinker and not the immediate impulse or logic of those involved? Oh, what have we become?

  • http://midlifebloggers.com byjane

    Laura: I actually like unfiltered reality. It’s the rare show that is “written” that ends up with anything more “valuable” to watch. And it seems like the best shows end up under the bus. Also, I think these reality shows are enabling a sort of face-to-face personal encounter that broadens our minuscule worlds. The same complaint you (and others) are making is not unlike the furor against the novel in the 18th century. It was geared to the public taste, destroyed the classical form, and made money.

  • http://fabulouslyover40.com/ Jill Crossland

    I’m not sure which was sadder, the end of their relationship or TLC’s ratings grab hype over the “big announcement”

  • http://midlifebloggers.com byjane

    Jill: I keep(pt) expecting a “just kidding” from the couple. All along there has been a niggling thought that maybe it was all a publicity stunt.

  • http://www.missykrissy2005.blogspot.com MissKris

    This is one of the reasons why most of my TV watching is limited to DVR tapings of “Super Why” and “Curious George” with my grandboys. I dunno what ever happened to quality television but there isn’t anything on there that grabs my interest at all any more. Maybe we should just get rid of the TV. We lived without any for 12 years when our kids were little – by choice – and I don’t think we missed anything.

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